Send me a message or any questions!
Ever wonder where wedding officiants draw their ethical lines? That dilemma sits at the heart of this raw, unflinching look at one of my most challenging ceremonies - a wedding where the groom showed up sporting a fresh black eye.
The journey began with troubling signs: a bride who initially canceled because "the groom hit her," only to reconcile weeks later claiming a "misunderstanding." As someone educated in domestic violence dynamics, I found myself wrestling with whether to proceed. When I arrived at the venue (a converted auto body shop rather than the originally mentioned Knights of Columbus hall) to find the groom visibly injured, that internal struggle intensified. The flimsy explanation that "decorations fell on him" didn't match what I observed, yet there I stood, facing a profound question: Was this my place to judge?
My guiding philosophy as an officiant has always been meeting couples where they are without imposing personal judgments. I've conducted ceremonies in prisons and commitment ceremonies for couples awaiting divorce decrees. Yet this situation pushed me to define clearer boundaries. It taught me that maintaining professional distance is sometimes necessary - I don't need to befriend every couple or track their marital outcomes. While I maintain firm limits (I won't marry teenagers or people to their pets), I recognize that adults make their own choices, however questionable they might seem to outsiders.
What lines have you drawn in your professional life? How do you balance judgment with respect for others' autonomy? I'd love to hear your thoughts on navigating these murky ethical waters. Share your experiences or reach out if you'd like some Wedding Wearer swag - I'm always thrilled to connect with listeners!
Thank you for sharing the podcast with others who may enjoy it! Share your funny wedding stories with me at theweddingwherepodcast@gmail.com. Any links referenced are on linktree.
