Shame isn't just a fleeting emotion—it's a complex process that profoundly shapes our lives from childhood through adulthood. In this eye-opening conversation, psychosexual therapist and PhD researcher Lisa Etherson introduces her groundbreaking Shame Containment Theory, revealing how our earliest attachment experiences create enduring sensitivities that influence everything from our relationships to our work choices.
Drawing from both clinical experience and rigorous research, Lisa explains how shame functions as part of our attachment system, designed to keep us connected to others and functioning in society. She breaks down the five components of her theory: attachment injuries, shame response, contained shame (including shame scripts), shame containment strategies, and uncontained shame. This framework helps us understand why seemingly innocuous childhood experiences—like a distracted parent or an unavailable caregiver—can create lasting patterns that we carry into adulthood.
The conversation takes a fascinating turn when examining Netflix's controversial series "Adolescence," exploring how intergenerational shame passes from fathers to sons, and how violence often serves as a re-containment strategy when masculinity itself becomes a source of shame. Lisa challenges the notion that external factors like social media are the primary drivers of concerning behavior in young people, suggesting instead that we need to look more deeply at attachment and shame.
Whether you're a mental health professional, parent, or someone curious about your own patterns, this episode offers transformative insights into changing your relationship with shame. Lisa's perspective helps us see that shame isn't something to eliminate but to understand—a necessary emotion that, when properly contained, allows us to live connected, authentic lives.
Connect with Lisa through LinkedIn or explore her recently published academic article on Shame Containment Theory. Her children's book "Jake and His Shame Armor" will be available this summer, offering a tool for adults to help children understand and navigate shame in healthy ways.
Lisa is a qualified psychosexual therapist with over a decade of experience in private practice. Currently, she is also a PhD researcher. Her research focuses on developmental shame, and compulsive sexual behaviour in adult men, leading to the development of her innovative Shame Containment Theory (SCT). Her clinical work and research have cultivated a strong interest in the impact of childhood experiences on adult behaviour. Lisa is the author of Jake and his Shame Armour, a children’s book about shame.
You can find our more about Lisa's work here.
You can connect with Lisa on LinkedIn here.
Disclaimer
Information reported by guests of this podcast is assumed to be accurate as stated. Podcast owner Colby Pearce is not responsible for any error of facts presented by podcast guests. In addition, unless otherwise specified, opinions expressed by guests of this podcast may not reflect those of the podcast owner, Colby Pearce.
