I think relapse gets a bad reputation in most recovery circles and it puts unneeded pressure on folks trying to keep themselves clean. It’s understandable as humans, we want to succeed and kick ass in the things that matter to us. Hopefully, recovery falls under that bucket.
But things happen sometimes. As I’ve mentioned before, not everything is linear. The best course of action is not to guilt yourself or feel shame. In this episode, we will talk about relapses, what it is, the types, ways to recognize if you (or a loved one) is going down that road and tips to course correct if something like this were to happen.
So, what is a relapse exactly? Well, there are two well know types of relapse:
- The “traditional” relapse – this is when someone makes the conscious decision to use
- The “freelapse” – this is when you accidentally relapse (drink something at a party that you didn’t know had booze in it)
However, a relapse is in play way before you actually succumb to it. There are three stages: emotional, mental and then physical. This can look like:
- Emotional: Not being honest with yourself. You may start to crave more than usual and brush it off. Part of you may want to be sober but the thought of not doesn’t seem too bad either.
- Mental: Glamorizing your drug/alcohol/vice use – when the stories are just so good in your imagination that you have a feeling of longing for those times and neglect to see the bad side
- Physical: the actual using of that particular vice. This can happen in a span of days, weeks, months, etc.
Common risk factors:
- Triggers! Can be social or environmental. If your surroundings haven’t changed, it can be hard for you to
- Stress: A lot of us used to cope with the stressors of daily life. If we don’t replace the poor coping mechanisms with something healthy – we can start to backslide
- Family/Friends: It could be your close relationships use or there is still a level of peer pressure. If you’re not solid in who you are and what is best for you, you can easily decide to go with the crowd and blend in
- Your own confidence: If you don’t have much confidence in yourself, you may not think you can stay clean.
Tips for navigating:
- Have a relapse plan. Write it out if you need to. Write down why using isn’t good for you, what it does, bad things that have happened, people in your squad that should be contacted if shit goes down.
- Seek out help. Friends, family, sober friends, therapist, recovery or treatment programs
- Boundaries: revisit them and see where things need to change or strengthen
- Don’t beat yourself up. I know feeling bad may come with it but it’s not going to help you get back on track. Instead (once you’re feeling a bit better) revisit why the relapse happened. What choices did you make or didn’t make? Are there things that you could have differently? Are there things you need to change? You need to be honest with yourself about this.
Stay safe out there, friends! Here is the link to some online AA meetings.
And as always, thank you for listening to my lovely show. If possible, I would love for you to review me on iTunes, Google, Stitcher -- anywhere, really.
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