Season 2 Episode 10. Should statements give you two options: you pass or you fail–when in reality, life is much more complex than that. And when we don’t meet the expectations that these “should demands” set up for us, we feel guilty, we feel shame, and we feel like we aren’t living up to our potential. As I’ve become more interested in healing and getting rid of toxic behaviors, I have learned how destructive the word “should” is. It’s a word rooted in negativity, guilt, and pressure. The word makes you basically feel the same way as you felt when your parents ignored you, minimized you, controlled you and criticized you. When I told other people they should or shouldn’t do something, I wasn’t respecting their boundaries or their ability to make the best decisions for themselves. I now know using the word should does not come from an authentic and fulfilled place. Should comes from guilt. When we say we should do something, it’s another way of expressing that whatever we’ve chosen to do isn’t enough. Should is critical. It creates pressure. And breeds insecurity. "Should" statements can be impacting your struggle with panic, anxiety, and depression. Should is judgmental. While should is a bad word to use with regard to our own actions, it’s equally dangerous to use when directed at others. When we tell others what they should do, we are judging them as harshly as we are judging ourselves.
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