As a human doing I could not be both successful and happy. No matter what degree of success I had, accomplishments brought me very little satisfaction and joy. I was constantly judging myself on how I performed in important activities and also on the most mundane tasks. As a human doing I was vigorously addicted to crossing that finish line and checking off the box...what I call the constant HUSTLE. I learned in my research that when you base self-esteem on what you do rather than who you are – you end up in a desperate and impossible position. Failure is a normal and inevitable part of life but for me, failure was unacceptable and a source of unimaginable pain. Human doings see failure as an attack on their self-esteem, they feel worthless and undeserving of love. My primary motivation in life was self-protection, avoiding failure and proving I was not worthless. It took me years to understand that being a human being is understanding that no one is perfect, and that failure is a necessary and inevitable part of life. Once I had this healthier perspective, failure lost its its power to leave a scar my soul and I became a human BEing. I am on a path of self discovery and now pursue goals and achievements from a position of strength rather than weakness. A toxic childhood will often cause us to operate out of fear as adults and force us to live inauthentic lives. I navigated a treacherous emotional path of depression and anxiety for years, never realizing I had a choice and also the ability to fix it. It takes a lot of soul-searching and great courage to trust the organic process of life and not try to control the outcome of everything - Tami Atman
Helpful resources
https://drjonicewebb.com/
https://www.mindful.org/difference-between-being-and-doing/
Podcast produced by LW Nolie. Content created by Tami Atman
We are not licensed therapists and we are not Life Coaches
We are fun NON-therapists and we discuss not-so-fun toxic families and multi-generational dysfunction. We are ordinary people sharing a healing journey in hopes to inspire other ordinary people to laugh as well as find their own path to healing. We are not life coaches. We are not licensed therapists. We want to the be the voice of the unheard and take the subject of toxic families more seriously than we take ourselves...and we use bad words.
