ep. #25
Mallika welcomes her husband into a conversation about the trajectory of their 17 year relationship, particularly the elements that have supported authentic connection and getting through the dark times of disconnection. He speaks with humor and vulnerability about the reality of conscious parenting while working really hard to meet Mallika in a deep and loving marriage.
The flow of the conversation going something like this:
- The dance of "fighting" that we did for many years - Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson
- Mallika's love language not being met well by Steve - Love Languages
- Our Enneagram Episode on being in relationships
- Do we think we are good parents?
- Ancestral wounds and patterns showing up in our kids
- Priorities in parenting - Raising emotionally healthy kids
- When and why to transition out of RIE parenting
- When we thought our marriage might be over
- Main nuggets that Steve took away from couples therapy
- The impact of jealousy early on in our relationship
- Maintaining attraction to each other as we age
- Are we desensitized to what is attractive to us by porn and media?
- The deeper relational work we both had to do to heal
- Getting through the belly of the beast and emerging into a totally new relationship
- The surprising impact of how much their therapist liked Steve
- How distraction can help find connection
- "Don't go to bed angry" isn't good advice
- Hidden Brain episode on marriage
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