Hello Everyone & Welcome Back to the RealPositiveGirl Podcast!
Thank you so much for joining me again!
Happy Tuesday!
This week's theme for the podcast is: Trauma
This week we are going to speak about trauma. I thought it would be helpful to go over how it can manifest in our lives, what can cause traumatic events to affect us so badly & what we should do to recover properly.
Here are some notes from today's episode:
- The biggest influence that trauma can have in our lives going forward is how to navigate through intimate relationships. This is especially true if it was childhood trauma & relationships were not modeled to us properly in the first place.
- Depending on how we were taught relationships will reflect how we were able to practice healthy attachments within relationships. This is super important because if we aren’t able to develop healthy relationship & attachment skills, relationships are likely to struggle & possibly fail.
- There are actually 4 different attachment types: secure, dismissive-avoidant, anxious-preoccupied & disorganized.
- Secure is when you can establish trust in your partner. There is little fear of rejection/abandonment, equally able to depend on each other, communication is there & emotions within the relationship are managed well.
- Dismissive-avoidant will equate closeness with loss of freedom/independence, lacks connection to emotions, prefers to be alone, avoids conflict & has trouble being depended on & the opposite.
- Anxious-preoccupied can be very insecure & needy, needing constant validation, extremely emotional, lack of boundaries, & takes things personally.
- Disorganized has trouble choosing between wanting a relationship & being alone, trouble letting others in & when they do - serious abandonment issues, hot & cold feelings & can become detached & dissociated.
- Let’s go over some ways it can show up for us specifically in relationships.
- Trust issues can arise.
- Of course fear of rejection and/or abandonment. This can also be a constant thing, too.
- Feeling like you are overwhelming to the other person.
- Trouble with being vulnerable.
- Fear of getting into fights or having conflict in general.
- Lack of boundaries.
- Always waiting for things to go bad.
- Here are a couple ways to work on healing from your traumatic experiences to have better relationships:
- Just being in healthy relationships that are supportive of your healing is one of the best things you can do. And I know this sounds easier said than done because typically we involve ourselves in the types of relationships that were modeled to us & those can sometimes be bad ones. But if you can be with someone that supports your recovery & setbacks, then you’re in a supportive, healing relationship.
- It’s also important to not identify the person you are in a relationship with as a savior, but rather a partner.
- And lastly, begin to be aware of your behavior patterns, which will help you overcome those & become stronger against triggers & fears associated with the pain of dealing with trauma while in committed relationships.
Please share this podcast with anyone that may need this encouragement!
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