Description

If your child holds it together at school but falls apart at home — this episode is for you.

In this raw and deeply validating conversation, Jane is joined again by educator Millie Carr to unpack what happens when school is no longer emotionally or psychologically safe for neurodivergent kids. From missed warning signs to outright shutdown, we explore how subtle distress gets overlooked — and how easily parents are made to feel like they’re overreacting.

You’ll learn what to watch for, what to say to schools without getting dismissed, and how to hold your ground when your gut says something’s not right. Whether your child is masking, refusing, or silently burning out, this episode gives you tools to recognise what’s happening — and advocate without losing yourself in the process.

🧠 What We Cover in This Episode:

• What it looks like when school stops feeling safe for your child
• How stomach aches, fatigue, and ‘bad behaviour’ are often nervous system distress
• Why behaviour plans focused on compliance miss the point
• The invisible trauma of forced attendance
• How to approach schools without being labelled the ‘difficult parent’
• Repairing a broken relationship with school staff — and when not to bother
• Why sitting on the floor too long can be the final straw
• The difference between refusing school and not coping
• What to do when your child can’t tell you what’s wrong — and no one at school is listening

💭 This episode is for you if:
– You’ve ever sat in the car after drop-off wondering if you’re doing the right thing
– You’ve been told your child is ‘fine’ at school while you’re watching them unravel at home
– You want to stop walking on eggshells with the school and start backing yourself

📥 Related Resource:
➡️ The School Choice Kit — A neuro-affirming guide to help you choose the right school for your child. Includes questions to ask, red flags to watch for, and planning tools to support your decision-making. Download the Kit

📖 Read the blog version of this episode:

👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/when-school-stops-being-safe/ 

Need support navigating school chaos?
Making School Work is your go-to advocacy guide for when your neurodivergent child isn’t coping — and the school says they’re fine. Packed with scripts, templates, and clarity for IEPs, school refusal, and shutdowns, it helps you hold your ground in the rooms that matter.
Get it here: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/making-school-work-parent-guide/ 

Other Quick Reset Episodes:

• S3E8 Advocating for Your Child Shouldn’t Break You — But It Often Does: Spotify | Apple Podcast
• S3E10 Why am I bracing for impact when nothing is wrong?: Spotify  |