Rules matter in my classroom. Structure matters. Consistency matters. But I have learned that rules without relationships only create compliance, not connection. In this episode, I unpack why relationships must come before rules if we want learning to stick.
I walk through familiar classroom moments where a rule is broken and the response can either escalate or deepen trust. Students often test rules before they trust adults, and how we respond in those moments determines whether we build authority or build relationship.
Accountability still matters deeply to me. Relationships over rules does not mean lowering expectations. It means delivering correction with dignity, separating behavior from identity, and repairing after conflict so students know they still belong.
I close by reinforcing that relationship-rich classrooms are stronger than rule-heavy ones. When students know they matter, they listen more, try more, and grow more. Relationships over rules every time.
• Rules can control behavior, but relationships shape behavior
• Compliance is not the same thing as connection
• Students often test rules before they trust adults
• Accountability must be paired with dignity
• Repair after conflict strengthens trust
• Relationship-rich classrooms reduce repeated behavior issues
• Presence matters more than perfection
• Relationships give rules meaning
• Trust increases student buy-in and openness to feedback
• Accountability and care can coexist
• Repair is one of the strongest relationship-building tools
• Strong relationships often save instructional time
