There are so many options out there for sports and extracurriculars for kids…and so many questions that come with them. Should you have your kids play sports? When? Should you make them stick with something they hate? The list goes on and on.
You’ll Learn:
Today, I’ll give you some guidance on all of these questions. And we’re not just talking about sports. Whether it’s football, gymnastics, music, religious education, learning a new language (or pretty much anything else you can come up with), this episode will help you decide what’s best for your child and your family.
-----------------------------------------
One important distinction to make between kids’ activities is whether it is formal (i.e. structured and usually adult led) or free play (open, freely chosen and participant led).
Lego is a good example. Using instructions to build a kit is an example of formal play, whereas making their own creations from a bunch of random blocks is free play.
Free play is play without a purpose in mind. Think Hot Wheels, playing with dolls, pretending to cook, having a party with stuffed animals, etc. It’s all just for fun. They’re not trying to achieve anything except what they’re doing in the moment.
Plus, there are a lot of benefits that come with open play, including better emotional regulation, self-soothing, problem solving, resilience and knowing their own likes and dislikes. They learn to manage conflict with their playmates.
For the most part, kids under age 5 do not need to be in any organized sports or activities. Their primary job at this stage is to learn how to move their body, listen, understand basic rules and directions, and play with others. They are likely getting plenty of formal training during preschool or kindergarten, and they don’t really need more than that.
I often see parents wanting to put kids in activities because they struggle to keep their children entertained all day. Their kids are restless, overwhelmed, dysregulated, and easily bored. As an adult, it feels good to bring in some structure and put something on the calendar. There’s nothing wrong with this, but I want you to recognize that it is for you, not for them.
When kids aren’t used to this open, unstructured time, they’re going to be uncomfortable figuring out what to do with themselves. They’re used to having a lot of direction from grown-ups. As the parent, you might see this and think that your child only does well when they’re in a programmed environment, but it’s really just a skill they haven’t developed yet.
Ultimately, we want to see kids having more and more time in free play. This looks like kids moving their bodies with open-ended equipment (e.g. blocks, figures, scooters, balls, trampoline, etc.). Imaginative play is the beauty of being a kid, and we want to give them as many opportunities as we can to do that.
Rather than running soccer drills, give them a chance to kick, run and play. Go to the park and set them loose to run, pretend, and make up their own games. Let them jump off low walls, muck around in the mud, play tag, have foot races, pretend to sword fight, and use their body to develop their muscles and motor skills. And if they want to play sports later, this experimentation and movement is also how athleticism is built.
When your kids are in organized sports and activities, it takes away time for the free, open play we know they...
