Winter break can be hard for us and our kids. What often happens is we sort of just start going into the holiday season and winter break without a plan or being prepared.
You’ll Learn:
In today’s encore episode, I’ll give you 4 winter break tips for you and 4 tips for your kids. You’ll learn strategies to take better care of yourself, feel less overwhelmed, be compassionate with your kids and reduce meltdowns.
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Today, I hope you’ll feel empowered to put the brakes on if you need to so that you can actually enjoy this time with your kids and have fun doing the things you want to do this holiday season.
In order to have the experience you want this winter break, you have to know what that is. What do you want?
Before any sort of winter break, holiday, summer experience, vacation, birthday party, or anything like that, I spend a few minutes making my own personal bucket list of what I want to do or experience and how I want to feel during that experience.
I’m a big fan of chasing the feelings we want. What feelings do you want to chase during this break? Maybe you want to feel connected, calm, or joyful. When you know how you want to feel (and what kinds of things make you feel that way), it’s easier to make a plan.
Decide in advance what you want to feel, and then make a plan to create opportunities for it. Look at your calendar and figure out what you want to do and when you will do it. For example, if you want to create intentional one-on-one time with each kid, decide when it’s going to happen, put it on the calendar and communicate the plan to your family.
And as you look at what’s already on the schedule, ask yourself why you are doing it and if it aligns with how you want to feel. Remember, you don’t have to do it all.
When you are overwhelmed and you have no time or energy to take care of yourself, it's gonna take away from enjoying the season with your kids. These four strategies will help you to be more calm and present this winter break.
Tip #1: Be realistic about your schedule and to-do list.
Before you jump into a bunch of activities, take a moment to ask yourself, “What can I actually handle right now? What’s been going on for my kids, and how are they doing?” Think about how much time, energy and mental capacity you have.
If you’re really depleted (or if you just know it’s always a disaster when you go out to eat in a restaurant) I want you to opt out and say no. Change your plans rather than push yourself.
Tip #2: Stop people-pleasing.
Similar to the first tip, this is about not doing things that are outside of what you want to do or what you can handle.
When you try to please others by going outside of what you have capacity for, you end up feeling like crap. You don’t enjoy the thing or you feel resentful or you get home and dump all your overwhelm and feelings on your kids.
It is okay for you to disappoint people, change your plans or decline invitations. Friends or family might feel a little sting when you say no, but that negative feeling will likely pass quickly.
Tip #3: Ask for help.
This is a hard one for moms. We feel like it’s our job to do all the holiday stuff, but sometimes there are people in our lives who actually want to
