Episode 1: Bible School Graduate Turned Playboy Enthusiast
Welcome to the very first podcast of Breaking Free Authentically. I’m so excited to finally be sharing with you all these things going on in my head.
I thought it would be good to start at the beginning of this whole journey for me as the past ten years have been so life-changing. I want you to understand why the title Breaking Free Authentically is so important to me.
I always like to say that I’m a Bible School Graduate, Turned Playboy Enthusiast
Intro: Let’s start at the beginning
- Childhood upbringing
- Sexual child/ masturbation
- Sexual shame at an early age
- Church pianist by 13
- Submission beautiful word
- All my friends were guys growing up
- Band, choir, musician, social group
- Marriage was my biggest goal
- Relationship books and psychology were my fun reading
- Couldn’t wait to get married and finally have sex and be a good wife
- Wanted a better relationship than my parents
- Wanted to be a Stay at home mom
- Chose Musician over being a Surgeon
The Bliss
- Loved my life in the church
- Was very involved
- Went to Bible School for Church music
- Knew I would never be paid because I was a woman
- Was an accompanist for all the voice studios
- Was in the Moody Symphonic Band (traveled to China)
- Married a “Good” Christian man
- The day a piece of me died
- Became a mom
- Taught moms groups and Bible studies
- Never questioned my faith
- Thought I was better than others
The Shock
- My husband shared his deconversion
- I had no idea this was coming
- My biggest fear was, "What we would teach our daughters about sex now?"
The Devastation
- Didn’t know where to turn
- 3 legged table
- Questioned everything I believed
- Started researching
- The worst of the worst - those SEX people
- Had no morals
- Couldn’t love without Christ
- No joy
- No self-respect
- Had no hope…
- Playboy Radio
- Found my people
- Loving
- Honest
- Authentic
- Honoured themselves
- Intelligent
- Deep
- Happy
- Full of joy
- Had deep connections with each other
- Discovered Swing with Holli and Michael
- Relationship Goals
The Transformation
- Started learning about sex positivity
- If everything I had been taught about sexuality was not right what else wasn’t
- Podcasts, Playboy TV, porn
- Critical Thinking
The Freedom to be Authentic
- I started to see I was no different than anybody else and no better
- Accabella’s story
- Started feeling safe enough to share things I’d never felt I could share before
- Started to fantasize
- Started to embrace my sexuality and pleasure in a new way
- Shed the guilt and shame
- Started to feel Empowered
- Discovered my worth in a new way
- Transformed my thinking and beliefs
- Shifted my perspective
- Became Authentic
- Learned to set boundaries without needing to hurt others
- Started honouring myself in a whole new way
- Realized how...
