Episode Title: “Double Chaos, Double Calm”
#chaos #coaching #anxiety #depression #relationship #stress #trauma #coachingthroughchaospodcast
Intro: In this episode, Tracy interviews Dr. Colleen Mullen, PsyD, LMFT of “Coaching Through Chaos” (Podcast and Counseling Practice). Colleen describes the work she does and the different projects she is involved in. Tracy reviews some of the chaos that has happened thus far in 2020. Together, Tracy and Colleen brainstorm some ways that people can calm their minds, cope with their emotions, and behave in ways that help improve their mental health. Lots of ideas here, so this is a longer podcast than usual!
I. Introduction to Colleen Mullen, PhD of “Coaching Through Chaos” Podcast / Counseling Practice II. Changes in systems cause chaos! Here are some changes we, as a people, have experienced in 2020: • The Presidential Impeachment • The US and North Korea • COVID-19 and Ebola • Worldwide deaths • Fires in Australia • Fires in California, Oregon and Washington • Police and Black Lives matter (Protests, Minneapolis, Kenosha, Atlanta) • An asteroid headed to planet Earth • Murder hornets and deadly mosquitos • Sports cancelled • Stock Market Fluctuations • School closures • Unemployment • The upcoming Presidential Election
Colleen Suggests: 1. Identifying Obstacles: What are the biggest obstacles that are preventing you from effectively managing chaos? 2. Present-Focus: This is temporary, so keep your mind on what is happening now, getting through day to day 3. Problem-Solving: Coming up with ideas to cope that focus on eliminating barriers and keeping a present-focus 4. Adaptability (or how well you adapt or adjust to the changes that happen in systems) will be the most relevant skill that will help you survive, thrive and move through chaotic times Tracy Chimes in with a story about how difficult it is to be flexible 1. Expectations: Chaos can happen when things don’t go the way you expect them to happen 2. Pause: Taking a step back and making flexibility an intention can help 3. Analyze and Assess the situation 4. Creativity: Be flexible and creative as you figure out what to do to calm the chaos Colleen and Tracy agree that seeing alternative answers and solutions is very important when calming / coping with chaos.
III. Calming the body down • Dealing with shock (fight, flight, freeze) • Systemic Trauma, Individual Trauma, Pre-existing Trauma and Current Trauma • Coping with the fear that “We will get stuck with any new ideas developed (like telework, home schooling and mask-wearing). IV. Developing Psychological Flexibility: How do you do this? (Brainstorming Session) 1. Tracy: Gathering support and resources to help people feel comfortable and safe through changes 2. Colleen: Talking to someone like a friend about what you’re struggling with and distraction and taking breaks. Focusing on things that are NOT changing and are stable, normal and not chaotic (“normal.”) 3. Tracy: Focusing on stability, routine, grounding and focusing on what is present. Boundaries. 4. Colleen: Not getting stuck in the fears and / or uncertainty. Knowing when the negative information gets to be too much and taking a break. Practicing gratitude and positivity. 5. Both: Move beyond your expectation that things “should” be a certain way. The reality is that life ebbs and flows, and that the natural progression is for hard times AND easier times. V. Colleen’s “Past-Present-Future” model of managing chaos • All these things happened in the past • You want certain things for the future • How much energy do you spend on past script, and is this the script for your future? • Past: Women: The self-concept when we were 12 is likely the same as when we are 45 • Challenging / re-writing old, negative scripts • “You’re at a choice point: do you want to hold these scripts or re-write them?” • SKILL: “Re-writing” the traditional narrative to something more truthful and helpful •...
