Children often feel mixed emotions when a new adult enters their lives. They wonder if they can trust them, laugh with them, or look up to them.
A common mistake step-parents make is expecting respect right away without considering how the child feels. My guest today, Brother Harold Gretzky, shares his experience with blending families.
He also shares how his experience serving in the United States Navy taught him lessons in honesty, integrity, and transparency that can help anyone navigate relationships and life challenges.
Early Childhood Memories (00:06:34 – 00:15:07)
· Brother Gretzky shares several memories from his childhood. He grew up near a Cold War missile base and strawberry farms, and he fondly remembers family stories about his grandfathers.
· He talks about the family’s move from Queens to Michigan, which brought them to an engineering town because of his father’s invention in bowling technology with the Brunswick pin setter.
· Brother Gretzky recalls riding his red Schwinn bike and attending Catholic catechism, even though he sometimes would have preferred staying home to watch his favorite cartoons.
Sailing & Family Bonding (00:19:13 – 00:24:19)
· A major part of Brother Gretzky’s youth was competitive sailing. His father built a sailboat from scratch, a symbol of both ingenuity and family teamwork.
· He describes their weekly Sunday races, his father’s growing skill as a skipper, and how sailing became their main outlet. It also taught important life lessons, like sportsmanship and perseverance.
Learning Accountability and Command through Navy Life (00:25:44 – 00:41:00)
· Brother Gretzky’s time at the Naval Academy and on submarines shaped his views on leadership and responsibility.
· He shares dramatic moments, including surviving storms at sea, handling reactor crises, and receiving critical instructions from commanding officers.
· These experiences gave him a deep respect for command responsibility and the importance of owning mistakes, both in the military and later in civilian nuclear work.
The Power of Honesty (00:43:16 – 00:46:38)
· Brother Gretzky shares one of his core lessons: when something goes wrong, bring it forward. He learned this principle under high stakes on submarines and in nuclear power.
· As he says, "If you’re honest with yourself, there’s always hope." He applies the same mindset to everyday life, including home mishaps and personal relationships.
Stepfatherhood & Parenting Wisdom (00:48:07– 00:49:31)
· Reflecting on his years as a stepfather, Brother Gretzky openly shares the ups and downs of blending families.
· He advises that the title "dad" must be earned and that stepfathers should not get caught up in labels.
· Brother Gretzky expresses pride in his three adult stepchildren’s successes, crediting their achievements to a nurturing yet realistic approach to parenting.
“Don’t get wrapped up in expecting a stepchild to call you ‘dad’ because that isn’t the truth. The title ‘dad’ has to be earned. That was the mistake we made at first. When we first got married, we went through some rough spots. I am so pleased that I now have a great relationship with my three stepchildren, and that they’ve all grown into such amazing adults.” - Brother Harold Gretzky.
