“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Psalm 147:3 (NKJV)
In 2017 God was calling me to leave my husband, family, and home for three weeks to do security work nine hours away. Also, it was time to do some personal work on myself with God. I called it a “paid retreat”—where I learned to trust God and listen to His loving voice.
In the past I experienced mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual abuse at the Kamloops Indian Residential School. Trusting others didn’t come easy. While away, during the pitch-black dark nights of the far north, I talked with God and asked why it still hurts so much from when my dad left in 2005. Can you envision a child lost and broken without her daddy? That was me.
As I talked to God, tears would roll down my cheeks. Soon they wouldn’t stop. They were like steadily flowing streams. I shared with God how much I missed my dad. When I spoke about my dad, my throat got hoarse and tightened. My body trembled, and the tears rolled down my cheeks like a waterfall that would plunge over the bank.
I was wailing and telling God, “It’s stuck in my throat. Get it out. I want it out!” I was sobbing uncontrollably. It took many conversations with God to be able to finally talk about my dad without crying. As I cried, He brought healing to my heart and spirit and, as I shared
with Him, He reminded me of who I am in Him.
Heavenly Father, please guide me into a place of healing. Show me what issues I need to work on. Lord, let my weakness be your strength, let my pain be victory for your cause. I want to follow Your lead and be freed from the chains that hold me back from You.
– Jennifer McEwan
Council Fire is a collaboration with Intertribal Life Ministries and Native Evangelical Fellowship of Canada.
The Council Fire Daily Devotional Book Set is available on the Intertribal Life Ministries website.
Learn more about Council Fire at councilfire365.org
