It’s been amazing to watch the conversation come to light and be told, by millions of women across the world, each in their own unique way, with their own unique experiences.
I don’t think it’s wise to judge whose story is more worse or better than others. And I don’t think its wise to them demand these women share any more details than what they have already shared. The story actually isn’t important. It’s of no importance to compare each experience. To rank or rate the severity of each experience because the fact is ANY level of harassment or abuse is too much.
What is important is that these women have had the courage to speak up. And that collectively we have seen the extent of the problem. Across cultures, across race and across economic boundaries.
Which leads me to wonder if I am part of this club?
One-in-three women have been sexually abused.
ONE-IN-THREE!?!
Thankfully, I can very comfortably say that I have not. That’s a privilege that I don’t take for granted. But I have two sisters, which means the odds are stacked against one of them. That’s terrifying because it’s never even occurred to me before now to talk about this with either of them.
Harassment on the other hand… Well, I’d be surprised if you could find a women or girl who doesn’t know what it feels like to be stared at, called out to, patted, pinched, brushed up against or groped.
Have I experienced harassment? For that, I can say #metoo.
I’ve never understood why men call out at women as they are minding their own business simply walking down the street. I’ve never really understood what they expect to get out of it? These days, it doesn’t happen so often. Maybe I’m not as cute as I used to be. Maybe tradies have tied up their act a bit. Certainly, having worked amongst a fair few tradies and contractors this year while working on the roads doing traffic management, I’m happy to report I’ve been treated with nothing but respect.
Although perhaps, cat calling is too old-fashioned these days. Because instead now I get the pleasure of having explicitly inappropriate things messaged to me on Tinder. And I wonder the same thing - do guys really expect that to work? This week I even had a pornographic GIF sent to my business page on Facebook. It was utterly delightful.
Next comes harassment within the workplace, which is what started this entire #metoo movement, from the actions of a powerful Hollywood director with what sounds like practically every woman he’s ever encountered at work.
This was a hazy area for me. Have I experienced harassment while at work? I’ve worked a lot of jobs in a lot of places around the world. One event keeps coming to mind though. It wasn’t a big thing. In fact before this week of #metoo’s I probably would have disregarded it altogether. It made me question whether it was bad enough to qualify. But here’s what I remember, it was bad enough that it left me feeling angry. It was bad enough that I told my girlfriends about it. It was bad enough that it left an icky feeling in my gut.
That’s as bad as it needs to be. It’s the icky uncomfortable feeling in your gut that tells you ALL that you need to know. No one else gets to pass judgement on it if YOU are experiencing that. That is your personal barometer of what you know to be true and right.
Words and actions can do damage, especially to young minds. But especially when the same message is sent to us over and over again. Our experience of the world around us through the words and actions of others shape how we view ourselves and who we believe we are.
When I teach meditation, we refer to these as groves. Imagining the truest version of you as the...
