Hey there. This is Aime Lynn with Flipswitch’s Erasing Negative Thoughts. On each edition of Erasing Negative Thoughts, we identify one way of stinkin thinkin and show how it’s more often than not, either completely untrue or extremely exaggerated. It’s important to not fall prey to these outright false ways of thinking cause let me tell ya, they’re good friends with depression.
On this edition of Erasing Negative Thoughts, we’ll cover the distorted way of thinking known as “Minimization”.
No no no. We’re not talking about shooting a science laser at you and shrinking you to the size of a pea so that you’ll end up running away from a giant human foot and a spider trying to eat you...no, that’s miniaturization. This is something completely different.
It helps to think of minimization as denial-lite. It’s not full blown pretending that something doesn’t exist or isn’t happening, but it’s not quite admitting to the full magnitude either.
For example:
“Who cares if i took that guy’s headphones. His parents have money, he can buy a new set. “
“I only stayed up two nights in a row. That can’t have affected me THAT much.”
“I’m only smoking the pot every now and then. Once a day isn’t all that much. It can’t be why I’m broke and not doing well in school.”
These are a few examples of minimization. Roughly stated, minimization is when you attempt to minimize the effect of your behavior or of an event’s impact upon your psyche.
Why is that important? Basically, because it allows you to do whatever you want without taking responsibility for anything that goes wrong.
That guy whose headphones you took. Yes, his parents can buy him more, but that doesn’t change the fact that you harmed him, especially since he actually spent his own money on those headphones.
Yeah, it was only two days of staying awake, but I’m pretty sure you could often say it was only 2 days of staying awake, oh great knower of all that is sleep deprivation.
And let’s face it, you can smoke ALL the pot you want if you ignore how broke you are or how tired you are. In fact, isn’t that what you’ve been doing? How’s that working for you? Has the problem gone away?
The main ways we tend to minimize behavior is by blaming someone or something else for our circumstance, ie minimizing our own responsibility, or we justify and downplay the impact or our own behavior on others.
“I had to punch that guy. He had it coming to him getting in my face like that. He looked alright afterwards anyhow.” Virtually everything in that spiel is designed to escape responsibility.
“I had to punch that guy”....because I certainly have no control over my own body. I’m a robot controlled by gamma radiation. Baaaaaah!!!!
“He had it coming to him getting in my face like that.” ....I mean, I can’t really be to blame because that guy actually wanted me to hit him, just like I want some robot to hit me. Baaaah!
“He looked okay afterwards anyhow.” ...and I should know, I spent hours watching Grey’s Anatomy to learn the full extent of psychological and physical injuries. I can’t be to blame if the guy isn’t even really hurt. Which reminds me, I wonder why they haven’t called me to start my rotation after watching all of last season. Hmmmm.
The really frustrating thing about minimization is that it comes in so many subtle variations. In fact, often large parts of therapy are devoted to getting you not to minimize your responsibility in the outcome of your behavior.
So, always remember this one mantra to avoid minimization. “I’m responsible for my behavior. My behavior has consequences.”
Yelled at your boyfriend? “I’m responsible for my behavior. My behavior has consequences.” So YOU may really have hurt your boyfriend’s feelings, regardless of what he did and how tough he is.
Failed your math test? “I’m responsible for my behavior. My behavior has consequences.” Maybe playing Guitar Hero, 3 nights in a row instead of studying had
