“You Don’t Have to Break Before You Begin” with Scott Kratchmer
Content Note: This episode includes mention of a past suicide attempt (approx. 36:20–39:30). Please take care while listening.
Episode in a Sentence
Older queer men are still navigating workplaces—and identities—built on other people’s comfort. Coach and advocate Scott Kratchmer shares why unmasking is a practice, what he calls the trades’ “silent gap,” and practical scripts you can use at work without outing yourself or over-explaining.
What You’ll Learn
- Why coming out is not one-and-done—and how it can happen more than once
- How unconscious masking shows up at work and at home (and how to stop)
- The “silent gap” facing queer men in blue-collar spaces (trades, fieldwork, male-dominated teams)
- Coming out later in life: joy and grief—and how to honor both
- Boundary scripts you can use today (even if you’re not out at work)
- A look inside Scott’s 12-week group “Authentically You” and the outcomes he sees
Guest
Scott Kratchmer — Founder, Scott Kratchmer Coaching. Scott empowers older queer men to live unapologetically in life and career and advocates for psychological safety in blue-collar environments.
• Site: scottkratchmer.com
• Social: @ScottKratchmerCoaching (Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn)
• Group program: Authentically You (12 weeks; founding cohort)
Timestamps / Chapters
- 00:00 Welcome & setup
- 01:23 Coming out more than once (and sometimes going back in)
- 07:08 Blue-collar bullying & microaggressions—how it lands
- 11:39 Family conversations, letters, and choosing safety
- 34:55 The mantra: “You don’t have to break before you begin.”
- 36:20 Content note segment: past suicide attempt & the turning point
- 41:18 Unmasking in everyday life: from people-pleasing to partnership
- 49:30 The “silent gap” and why visibility feels risky in the trades
- 55:18 Coming out later in life: what we missed & what we gained
- 1:06:41 Inside Authentically You—self-love, acceptance, empowerment
- 1:14:48 Boundary scripts you can use at work today
- 1:16:30 Outro + how to connect with Scott
Note: Timestamps align to the raw transcript; final edited timing may vary slightly.
Resources Mentioned
- Scott Kratchmer Coaching — scottkratchmer.com
- Authentically You (12-week cohort)
If You Need Support
If you’re struggling, you’re not alone. In the U.S., dial or text 988 for the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. In Canada, call or text 988. If you’re elsewhere, please reach out to local resources.
Connect with the Show
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- Host: Jonathan Barbe — LGBTQ+ purpose & confidence coach
- Work with me: Book a discovery call https://linktr.ee/empoweredandout
Sponsor / Credits (optional)
- Produced by Empowered & Out/Jonathan Barbe/JMB Coaching...
