“Calm down” never calms anyone down. Andrew and Cat share practical, under-a-minute techniques from their Quick Calm Method—tools you can use at work, in traffic, or mid–dinner chaos to regulate your nervous system fast (without a 60-minute meditation).
Big ideas
- Co-regulation beats commands. “Breathe with me” works; “calm down” doesn’t.
- Not all “wellness” fits all bodies. For ~30% of people, traditional meditation or cold plunges can spike anxiety; choose nervous-system-friendly options that work for you.
- You can flip a day in 60 seconds. Micro-resets interrupt spirals and change the tone for you (and everyone around you).
The Quick Calm Method (highlights from the episode)
- Breath Reset (Box Breathing, etc.)
- Short, shallow breaths tell your brain there’s danger. Slow, counted exhales flip you back into rest-and-digest. Great solo—or co-regulate by breathing together.
- Cat used this walking from the car to the apartment—under a minute—to avoid snapping and stay “safe space” for her son.
- Grounding Reset
- Get out of your head and into your senses (sight, sound, touch). Anchors you to reality when the mind starts catastrophizing.
- Body Reset
- Stress lives in your muscles. Quick, discrete movements (yes, even a tiny office-friendly “shake out”) discharge that pent-up energy so it doesn’t leak out as irritability. Cue the giggles.
- Mini-Meditation Reset
- A guided 60–120s visualization to power-wash mental noise. Works for many; if meditation ramps you up, skip it and use breath/grounding instead.
- Laughter Reset
- Fake a laugh to spark a real one, recall a reliably funny clip, or replay a personal “can’t-not-laugh” memory. Physiology shifts, chemistry follows.
Want the step-by-step videos? Get the course: fiveyearyou.com/calm
When to use which
- Rising irritability / about to walk into a meeting: Breath Reset → Grounding (2–3 min total)
- Anger with lots of body tension: Body Reset, then Breath (2–4 min)
- Spiral/rumination loop: Grounding → Mini-Meditation (2–3 min)
- Household mood reset: Laughter Reset + 30-second family dance (1–2 min)
Micro-scripts that help
- “I want to hear you. Can we take 4 slow breaths together first?”
- “I’m doing a quick reset so I can respond, not react.”
- “Let’s turn the day around.” (spin, shake, smile—pattern interrupt!)
Glimmers
- Andrew: Loving the Pulsetto vagus-nerve stim—paired with our resets, I’m noticeably calmer day-to-day.
- Cat: First real fall day in Chicago—cool walks, crunchy leaves, instant nervous-system sigh. 🍂
Links & extras
- Quick Calm Method (video course, < 60 minutes total): fiveyearyou.com/calm
- Email us what worked for you: hello@fiveyearyou.com
- IG & TikTok: @fiveyearyou (five spelled out)
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