Episode Summary:
Let's face it: you already know what you need to do. You listened to last week's episode about disappointing people. You nodded along. Maybe you even shared it. And then your mom called, your coworker asked, your partner assumed. And you said yes when you really wanted to say no.
You already know your body's been screaming NO for weeks. Here's the thing: you don't need better boundaries. You need to stop waiting for permission to use them. You're still asking "Am I allowed? Is it okay? Will people think I'm selfish?" And no one's coming to give you that permission. Not your therapist, not your best friend, not even your nervous system breaking down.
This episode exposes the pattern of knowing what you need to do but performing like you're going to change while wondering why January looks exactly like last January.
You're not alone. Your people are here. This is your reckoning. Yet.
Listen if you're:
✓ Still saying yes when your body is screaming no
✓ Waiting for someone to tell you it's okay to choose yourself
✓ Performing like you're going to set boundaries while doing the exact same thing
✓ Asking permission to use the boundaries you already know you need
✓ Wondering why nothing changes year after year
✓ Ready to stop waiting and start actually doing
This is for you if you're done asking for permission and ready to just take it.
The "waiting for permission" pattern keeping you stuck—you don't need better boundaries, you need to stop asking if you're allowed to use them
Why your nervous system breaking down still isn't enough—you keep overriding what your body knows because you're still seeking external validation
The uncomfortable truth about change—if the answer is "nothing," own it and stop performing like you're different
💣 "No one's coming to give you permission. Not your therapist, not your best friend, not me. Not even your nervous system breaking down is enough for you to give yourself permission."
💣 "You don't need better boundaries. You need to stop waiting for permission to use them."
💣 "Stop performing like you're going to change and then wondering why January looks exactly like last January."
Why do I keep saying yes when I want to say no?
You're waiting for permission. Your body knows what it wants—it's been screaming NO for weeks, months, maybe years. But you keep overriding it because some part of you is still asking "Am I allowed to do this? Is it okay?" You don't need better boundaries. You need to stop outsourcing the decision to use them. No one's coming to give you permission. You have to decide right now that you're done asking.
How do I actually start setting boundaries?
Stop asking what you SHOULD do and ask what you're ACTUALLY going to do. Not what sounds good while listening to a podcast. What are you going to do differently this week? If the answer is nothing, own it. Stop performing like you're going to change. The shift happens when you stop waiting for external permission and decide you're done asking.
The week-after check-in - It's been a week since the Thanksgiving episode and Michelle's guessing most of you already messed it up
The pattern exposed - You listened, you nodded, you shared it. Then your mom called. Your coworker asked. Your partner assumed. And you said yes. Again.
The real problem - You don't need better boundaries. You need to stop waiting for permission to use them. Your body's been screaming NO but you keep asking "Am I...
