We ask one question to every man who sits across from us: What is the main problem men are facing in society based on your experience and perspective?
For Joe — fitness trainer, founder of the Dead Ego Club, and a man who once had his entire identity built on a music career and other people's applause — the answer was immediate: Identity. Men have become human doers instead of human beings. They hide behind their job title, their income, their performance — and in doing so, they slowly lose themselves entirely.
What unfolds in this episode is one of the most raw, honest, and deeply personal conversations We Take the Stairs has ever had. Joe doesn't just name the problem. He lived it. From a homeless musician chasing stages and validation, to a man who stood in front of his mirror one morning and felt something physically break off his body — Joe's story is proof that the stripping process, as painful as it is, is exactly how God reveals who you actually are.
Guest Joe — Fitness trainer, founder of the Dead Ego Club, and recently married man of faith based in South Florida. Joe built a brand around one simple but radical idea: less of me. His mission is helping men strip away false identities and discover who they actually are beneath the performance.
Chapters
- 00:00 — Welcome & The One Question: Joe's Answer Is Identity
- 01:30 — Human Doers vs. Human Beings: Why Men Hide Behind Their Work
- 05:00 — The Billionaire Problem: Why We Label People by Net Worth
- 08:00 — Dead Ego Club: The Music Career That Inspired the Brand
- 14:00 — Other People's Applause Was My Drug
- 18:00 — What Actually Helps: The Stripping Process & Jesus
- 24:00 — Performance-Based Love: What Society Has Always Told Men
- 29:00 — Ecclesiastes & Rest: Chasing the Wind vs. Joy in Your Labor
- 37:00 — Rest Is Faith — And Not Resting Is Operating in Fear
- 45:00 — Abandonment: The Root Beneath the Identity Crisis
- 53:00 — The Mirror Moment: Speaking Identity Over Himself
- 01:05:00 — Rapid Fire & We Takes
Key Topics Covered
- Human Doers vs. Human Beings — Joe names the core of the male identity crisis: men have traded being for doing. They define themselves by their job title, income, and output — and the world reinforces this at every turn. The first question anyone asks is what do you do, not who are you.
- The Dead Ego Club — Born from the wreckage of a music career built entirely on performance and external validation, Joe's brand carries one message: less of me. He explains how chasing stages, applause, and celebrity left him surrounded by people but completely alone — and how that collapse became the beginning of something real.
- The Stripping Process — You don't find yourself by becoming more. You find yourself by stripping away what you're not. Joe references Michelangelo's famous quote about David — I just took away everything that wasn't David — and applies it directly to identity.
- Performance-Based Love & What Society Tells Men — Rachael makes a sharp observation: from the beginning of time, men have been conditioned to earn love through performance. Win the war, make the money, get the promotion. If you don't perform, who are you? Joe and Jackson unpack why this cycle is so hard to break — and what it costs men in relationships.
- Ecclesiastes & Rest — Joe opens his Bible to Ecclesiastes before the episode and finds something that speaks directly to the issue: King Solomon had everything — wealth, wisdom, pleasure — and called it all chasing the wind. The takeaway isn't stop working. It's have joy in your labor. And rest is faith. If you can't rest, you're not trusting God. You're operating in fear.
- Abandonment as the Root — One of the most vulnerable moments of the episode. Joe's mother left when he was in kindergarten due to drug addiction. That early wound — the fear of abandonment — followed him into every relationship for years, showing up as anxiety, people-pleasing, and performing for love. The root wasn't the relationships. It was the little boy still crying at the door.
- The Mirror Moment — After hitting rock bottom in a toxic relationship cycle, Joe woke up one morning, closed his Bible, looked in the mirror, and started speaking his identity out loud. Something physically broke off. He describes it as deliverance — and it was the first moment he truly began to know who he was.
- Affirmations and Identity — Joe has read the same set of affirmations every single day for two years. At first it feels like lying to yourself. Eventually your mind starts to believe it as truth. Repetition creates revelation.
Scriptures Referenced
- Ecclesiastes — All is vanity; chasing the wind; have joy in your labor
- Psalm 46:10 — Be still and know that I am God
- Proverbs 3:6 — He will make your path straight
- Ephesians 3:20 — More than we can ask or imagine
Books Referenced 📖 How to Win Friends and Influence People — Dale Carnegie Referenced by Joe: take genuine interest in other people before talking about yourself.
Key Quotes
"Men have become human doers rather than human beings — hiding behind what they do because they're afraid to actually be seen." — Joe
"You don't find yourself by becoming more. You find yourself by becoming less of what you're not." — Joe
"Other people's applause became my drug. I was using the audience to feel better about myself." — Joe
"Rest is faith. If you can't rest, you can't say you're operating in faith." — Joe
"I am who he says I am. And that's it." — Joe
"Understanding men is the key to the survival of the human race." — Rachael
"My love is not performative anymore. It's not I need you. It's I love you." — Joe
Practical Takeaways
- Start speaking your identity out loud — even when it feels like lying. Repetition creates revelation.
- Ask yourself: are there things I'm still working through from my relationship with my parents?
- Practice rest as an act of faith — not scrolling, not grinding, just being still and letting go.
About This Series Each episode, one man. One question. The answers are already revealing a pattern. If you're a man with something to say — we want to hear it.
Primary Keywords
- Christian podcast for men
- male identity crisis faith
- men and performance based love
- biblical identity for men
- men's mental health and purpose
