Every human being has tender places in their nervous system.
Places where life feels a little sharper.
A little louder.
A little harder to navigate.
Sometimes it’s a time of day.
Sometimes it’s chaos or clutter.
Sometimes it’s certain conversations that require more space and calm.
I call these raw spots.
And one of the quiet, beautiful privileges of loving someone is this:
Over time, you begin to learn where those raw spots are.
Not so you can avoid life.
Not so you can walk on eggshells.
But so that, when possible, you can soften the edges of the world for each other.
Because the truth is: life will already bring enough friction, enough stress, enough chaos.
A loving relationship is not meant to add more pain to the pile.
It’s meant to make the journey a little more bearable.
In this week’s episode, we talk about Protecting Each Other’s Raw Spots, and why recognizing these sensitive places in ourselves and the people we love can completely change how we show up in relationships.
Episode timestamps:
00:02 — Why knowing each other’s raw spots matters
01:06 — When life feels chaotic and beautiful at the same time
02:19 — What “raw spots” actually are
02:32 — My wife’s raw spot: visual clutter and overwhelm
06:16 — Another example: slow mornings and protecting space
08:47 — My own raw spot (and how we learned to protect it)
11:33 — Identifying patterns: time, topics, and situations
14:29 — Why protecting each other’s raw spots strengthens relationships
Because in the end, this is what loving someone really means:
Not removing all difficulty from life.
But learning how to hold each other a little more gently as we walk through it.
🗣️ Oh—and if you have something you're navigating and would love my take on it...
You can submit a question or situation for a futureepisode right here (totally anonymous!):
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