Thanks to our Partner, NAPA Autotech Training and Pico Technology
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We unpack what “boundaries” actually are—and aren’t—in shops and life. Margaret draws clear lines between rules vs. boundaries, protective vs. containing boundaries, and gives scripts you can use with customers, colleagues, and leadership. Matt adds his trademark honesty (and jokes) about self-regulation, “saying it like it is,” and swapping “but” for “and.”
Sponsor shoutouts
- NAPA AutoTech Training — Apprentice pathways, Tech Update, Service Advisor, and EV Ready week-long hands-on training. Details: napaautotech.com
- Pico Technology (PicoScope) — Turn a PC into a powerful diagnostic scope. Guided tests, EV kit, faster fault-finding. Details: picoauto.com
Key ideas & takeaways
Rules vs. Boundaries:
- Rule: “You’re not allowed to yell at me.” (trying to control others)
- Boundary: “If you yell at me, I will leave the room.” (what I will do)
Two Types of Boundaries:
- Protective: Guard yourself from others’ behavior (leave the room, pause the call).
- Containing: Guard others from your behavior (take a break before you escalate).
Simple Shop Scripts
- Advisor to escalated customer: “I’m happy to help and if the yelling continues, I’ll have to ask you to leave. I’m happy to help when we’re calm.”
- Advisor protecting self: “If voices rise, I’m going to step to the break room for five minutes and then return to help.”
- Employee to manager (after-hours texts): “I’ll handle this when I’m back at work.” (Boundary = your response, not their texting.)
Use “and,” not “but.”
- “I hear you overslept and I need you here on time.”
- Removes the “disqualifier” feel of but, holds two truths at once, reduces power struggles.
Broken-record technique for heat
- Repeat your boundary + offer: “I’m happy to help, and if the yelling continues, I’ll need you to leave.”
Professionalism ≠ light switch
- Containment and communication are skills that need coaching, not just warnings. Managers can (and should) teach, not only discipline.
Reasonable Expectations
- Some things are rules of employment (e.g., start times). People can be upset and the expectation still stands.
Curiosity First
- Lead with, “Are you open to feedback?” “Tell me what would work better.” You can hear it without agreeing to change your decision.
Culture Over Chaos
- We don’t need reality-TV drama in a professional shop. Boundaries + coaching = fewer blowups, better results.
Practical Playbook - Train mechanical specialists and technical specialists to:
- Spot their escalation early (breathing break, lap around the building).
- State boundaries in first-person (“I will…”) not second-person commandments.
- Swap but → and in feedback and estimates.
Train advisors on three phrases:
- “I want to help, and we’ll...
