Unfinished Men
I can no longer burn for two.
And certainly not for three.
It's that truth which might shake your comfort zone, but in the end - it sets me free.
Seeing potential without any action leads to some sad and mad dissatisfaction.
I’ve seen potential, yes - but without any action, it becomes a ghost. A haunting echo of an almost-love...you know, that kind of love that hurts the most.
No, my loves, you are not evil.
You're only weak.
You were never cruel.
Just not complete.
Too afraid to rise,
too fragile to meet.
Too insecure for my love to carry which you actually never really had to seek.
Too anxious to change what always worked for you but actually never really did.
Your lack of affection was what led to our dynamics and imbalanced interaction,
I have to admit.
You're a shadow that makes promises it never intends to keep. A shadow from which I could only guess where it comes from or where it goes - but never becoming really deep.
Your ease became a weight
on my wings meant to fly.
Too light to hold me -
too slow to try.
Your shallow depth has become weight upon my free and wild wings. Easy. Relaxed.
Attached.
But without any strings.
Easiness can turn heavy
when it carries what’s always been unsaid.
All the feelings you’ve buried and all the truths you’ve left for the dead instead.
Easiness too heavy to carry or -
could it be my own?
The perception of all those feelings you hid, never capable of truly being shown.
This is my female rebirth after a sexual but asexual heartbreak of mine. I rise in all my female energy and learn again how to be mine.
I rise, not angry -
but finally whole.
I love myself more than your almosts, your perhaps, your self-soothing roles.
I love myself more than all of your 'Well, let's see!'s.
More than all of your out of commodiousness arising maybes. I love my fire more than your promising, but actually cold breezes of unapproachable aloofness mess.
Yes, I found you both attractive -
thought we might align.
I tried, I reached, I danced toward hope, but none of you ever truly met mine.
Damn, I found you two so attractive! Was really convinced you'd be a good match.
I dared to come closer. I tried.
Even if it meant some hopelessly hopeful and desperate fight.
But I've never experienced any success in that, since your mental cage and fear is everything you've ever had.
Would never want to hate you for something I've done to myself for many...
