Dr. Patricia Timerman Barbosa da Silva shares how immigrating to the U.S. as a teen and “losing her voice” shaped her life’s work in mental health. Drawing on suicide hotline, prevention/intervention, and postvention experience, she explains why isolation fuels despair, how connection and clear communication reduce risk, and offers practical tools—like code words and her Intention-Action-Perception (IAP) model—to help people speak up, support each other, and grieve well.
Key Takeaways
- Isolation is the accelerant; connection is the antidote. Depression often feels like a “500-lb invisible blanket” or a “seductive vampire” that distances us from love. Social interaction is kryptonite to that isolation.
- Start with the pain before the positives. When someone feels suicidal, asking why they want to die helps “drain the cup” before pouring in reasons to live.
- Say the word “suicide.” Avoid euphemisms (“hurt yourself?”). Ask directly and non-judgmentally.
- Notice behavior changes. Any meaningful shift—stopping a routine or suddenly adopting a new one—invites a caring question.
- Use code words to make asking for help doable. Co-create a simple word (e.g., “banana”) with clear instructions so support can be triggered without long explanations.
- Tears are a release, not weakness. Allowing emotion (rather than numbing) prevents it from “leaking” out in unhealthy ways.
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