In today's podcast, we continue to explore two other complementary pairs of behaviour: Helpfulness vs. Assertiveness and Empathy vs. Rule Enforcement.
Generally, in assessments, particularly in the Harrison psychometric test, which Ross uses as a base for his coaching, the behavioural patterns in stress situations and the resulting volatilities are very apparent in the results.
Once an overly empathetic person realizes their softness is taken for granted by their staff, they tend to feel frustrated and taken advantage off. In a stress situation, this then may cause a shift in the opposite behavioural spectrum, which is then the tendency to enforce the rules "no matter what," without any sympathy anymore for the other person's situation. It may even lead to an aggressive outburst and therefore inconsistent behaviour.
Rules may be put in place as a reflection of earlier overly empathic approach.
As for the "Helper" personality, the excess of that trait may lead to the attitude of a martyr, spending one's energy in helping others with time, advice and emotional support. If stretched to the maximum and not getting the appreciation, they desire in return; they too start feeling taken advantage off.
Saying No is often a challenge for this personality type, as they fear the lack of appreciation or love if they would reject a request. So they overexert themselves to be needed. The drawback here is that they also train everyone else around them to seek them out as a go-to person for every small detail.
Again, in a stressful situation, they may then demonstrate a volatile behaviour by becoming aggressive or passive-aggressive, falling into the other extreme of this pair.
For the coach, it is essential to point out this volatility, discuss the two extremes of the scale, help the client to understand which situations trigger those patterns and then suggest various solutions. The idea is here to bring the behaviour the client is engaging in too much back into balance.
Coaches now can find help through our Leadership Balancing Card; the ideal tool to anchor their efforts in the client's information field for faster results.
