In this episode of Dynamics of Everyday Life, I delve into the allure of “glitter” in our lives—those shiny, appealing things that may lack true substance beneath the surface. Drawing from both personal anecdotes and experiences within the coaching industry, I explore why we’re drawn to what looks good, the projection of our desires onto shiny promises, and how easily we can confuse illusion for reality.
- The Glitter Effect: Why we often prioritize appearance over essence, especially in coaching and self-development spaces.
- Projection and Idealization: How we see what we want to see, and why that can be risky.
- The Discomfort of Disillusionment: Confronting the moment when “glitter” flakes and we’re left with reality.
- The Value of Depth: How true growth and satisfaction come from looking beyond surface sparkle, even if it's uncomfortable.
- Critical Self-Reflection: Questions to help distinguish between genuine value and mere dazzle, both for ourselves and our clients.
00:01:06 - 00:02:00
- Why we’re drawn to "glitter": projection, perceived lack, and how people sell to these desires.
00:02:01 - 00:02:35
- The pressure to “crack it” and the promises dangled before us—validation, success, belonging, and how hard these are to attain alone.
00:02:36 - 00:03:21
- The seduction of magic formulas and Instagram coaches; projecting our ideals onto people or things.
00:03:22 - 00:04:25
- Escaping the discomfort of being ordinary; illusions and fantasy versus reality; marketing polish versus substance.
00:04:27 - 00:05:20
- The reality check when "glitter" flakes away: disappointment with shiny programs, performative thought leaders, and following someone else’s idea of success.
00:05:22 - 00:06:03
- Distinguishing sparkle from substance; Freud’s idea of disillusionment and how shame or denial might follow.
00:06:03 - 00:06:41
- Seeing things as they are—mourning the fantasy, making your own decisions, and digging beyond surface impressions.
00:06:42 - 00:07:22
- “The glitter trap” in coaching: idealizing leaders, professions, ourselves; feeling bereft when the shine wears off.
00:07:23 - 00:08:41
- Using critical thinking to spot glitter vs. gold; questions to ask yourself about motivation and illusion.
00:08:41 - 00:09:15
- What happens if you are the one adding glitter? Giving yourself grace for falling for or creating illusions.
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