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Finding the right woman is something many guys spend a whole lot of time and money going after. They love the buzz of relationships so they keep going from relationship to relationship thinking they will find THE ONE! The problem is this is the wrong focus. If we want to find the right woman, we have to make sure we have the right mindset or we will be wasting our time and energy.
The One Big Truth
- The one big truth that every guy needs to learn and repeat to himself is: SHE WON'T COMPLETE YOU
- The problem with the ONE attitude is it gives us an avenue for blame
- When we hold someone up as the ONE, we are actually giving them god-like status
- Our completeness isn't based on our relational status
- Men looking for completeness outside themselves give up control
- The passive problem is from men who aren’t complete within
- The more complete we are as men, the better our relationships will be, and the more likely we will find a woman who fits us the best
The Mom Syndrome
- The mom syndrome is something many men live in but they are in denial
- They think the right girl will motivate them to do better in life
- "I just need the right girl to make me want to be a good guy"
- This is lazy and gives up our own personal responsibility
- Change for men has to come from within
- Expecting a girl to motivate us is asking her to be our mom
- Expecting girls to be a mom to us is lazy and will build resentment in the relationship
- We have to man up and take full responsibility for ourselves
The Past Ghosts
- Many guys have a hard time finding the right woman for them because they are living with the ghosts of past girls in their life
- Past Hurts Don't Help Future Relationships
- Men must take the time to deal with the pain of past relationships or they will affect their future ones
- Counselors, therapists, online resources like www.boundaries.me
- Rebounding often leads to the same mistakes
- Bitterness does not influence great relationship choices
