When do you know when it’s time for them to start doing things for themselves?
That’s a tricky question, isn’t it? We all have different caregiving experiences and the people we care for all have different needs.
No matter how different we all are there are two things that are universal
Learn more on today’s episode.
Transcript
When do you know when it’s time for them to start doing things for themselves?
That’s a tricky question, isn’t it?
There isn’t a definitive answer either because it all depends.
It depends on why they need help. Is this long-term or do they just need help to recover and heal?
Our personal caregiving is always going to be different than other caregivers so there’s never a book that we can pick up that tells us how to get through life. However, I do think that we can learn from each other’s experiences, and almost always there is something in another’s caregiver story that helps us see things in a different way.
So let’s talk about knowing when they need a little kick in the ass.
To do that we need to start at the beginning.
When my husband came home from his first cancer surgery I was super attentive. I did everything for him because he was visibly in pain. He spent a lot of time in the hospital and coming home was good for him but we had to work on pain management and getting him to eat and stay hydrated.
I did everything I could to keep him as comfortable as possible. I made sure things were very conducive for him to rest. I kept the house quiet. I didn’t wake him up unless it was time for his medication and oftentimes I would stay in the room with him so that when he woke up he would know where he was.
My focus was to help him heal by making everything in his life easy for him.
This phase has not changed. He’s lived with cancer for years now and every time he comes home from another surgery this is what I do. There is no question in my mind that people need a good deal of support when they come home from surgery, no matter what type of surgery it is.
Then we get to the point where they’re awake more. When there is more time in between pain medication and he is up more. This is when he needs to move around. Usually, he comes home from the hospital and his body already hurts from being in bed for so long. So once he’s gone a week sleeping most of the time at home he really needs to move. He sits up more. I have him move to a different part of the house. I have him sit at the table for a little bit each day. It’s difficult, I get it. Coming off of medicine sucks but we both know it needs to be done and that the discomfort of transitioning to just Tylenol is short-lived.
This is when there is a little bit of a battle of wills.
I feel it is normal for a person to get used to having things done for them, especially when they are going through something difficult. However, there’s a point where a person should start to do things on their own again because it doesn’t do them any good not to, and there isn’t anything stopping them.
Let me explain…
If my husband is recovering from surgery, he would have no problem letting me do everything for him. In fact, after transitioning to regular activities of daily living he would undoubtedly love it if I still brought him food and made sure he was drinking enough. Who wouldn’t? I think in this caregiving world we live in, not having to do something almost always feels like a treat. When you are under the stress of living with illness or disability, not having to decide what you’re going to eat for lunch is awesome! In fact, it’s a pretty sweet deal for anyone.
So I can see why it is so easy for the
