You deserve better!! Are you lost in a narcissistic relationship? The term narcissism is easily tossed around, especially in this world of selfies. However if you are deeply connected to someone with the personality disorder narcissism it is a very real, painful and a seriously disruptive experience. It is also surprisingly difficult to identify when you are immersed in it, and difficult to disengage the pattern of supporting their world-view. We break it down here!In this episode on narcissism,Co-hosts Ann Kelley PhD and Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP continue the dialogue on narcissistic relationships from a patron-requested perspective. This episode is about being in a relationship with someone with the personality disorder, narcissism.
https://www.therapistuncensored.com/tu104-narcissism-what-is-going-on-under-the-defense/ (To hear episode 105 on what causes narcissism, click here.)Narcissism OverviewEarly emotional wound which develops into an inflated sense of self-importance,
Self-centeredness arising from failure to distinguish the self from external objects, either in very young babies or as a feature of mental disorder.
Selfishness, involving a sense of entitlement, a lack of empathy, and a need for admiration, a personality type.
Grandiose narcissism – protect our sense of self by looking better and being better, demands mirroring from others to stay in connection.
Depressed narcissism – we collapse on ourselves and feel like we are the worst person in the world. Hey gang, we just aren’t that special – thank heavens.
Both stem desire to be loved and cared for & empty sense of self
Signs of Being in a Relationship With a NarcissistIt’s always conditional
You know they are sensitive or vulnerable but they can’t see it or deny it – externalize
Can’t take feedback, turn it around on you
One-directional relationship – you orbit them not the other way around
Inability to accept any type of critique or criticism/accept that they have faults
Scripted gestures that aren’t an apology
Charming but superficial
You feel lucky to be in this “special” relationship
You begin to subjigate yourself, lose your self into them in order to keep the connection
Gaslighting – manipulative cynical
Can you say egg-shells? You are walking on them…
Who is attracted to narcissistic relationships?ANYONE can get pulled in – the problem is the controlling manipulative behavior
But if you find yourself attracting these kinds of people, or can’t get out of a relationship that involves serious narcissism, it’s better to compassionately find and accept yourself so you can begin to resist their requirement to mirror them
Were you raised by someone with narcissism so you know innately how to put self aside and tend to the other
A feeling one might be fulfilled if the person (narcissist) “saves” them
Internal emptiness and relief around being told who you are, what you should do…
Prone to being vulnerable especially around actualizing of self
What Does Being In A Relationship With A Narcissist Look Like?Allure of narcissist helping you be your best self
Seduction, jealousy, decisiveness – which gives way to controlling, possessiveness, and isolation
Giving up freedoms and limiting exposure to avoid upsetting narcissist
World orbits around narcissist instead of mutual orbit of a natural relationship
Narcissist makes you feel like you are doing something to them, always your fault
Ignore your own mind and perceptions to keep connected (dangerous)
Always in the shadow of the narcissist
Everything is about the narcissist
Unable to apologize sincerely and feel remorse
GaslightingComes from a movie where husband intentionally manipulates wife’s mind – something is happening, wife sees it, husband and others deny that it is happening
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation in which a person seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or in members of a... Support this podcast
