Description

Navigating Conflict and Embracing Vulnerability

In this special Mens Health Month episode, I’m joined by John Flanagan, an Accredited Mental Health Social Worker and certified Gottman therapist. Today, we’re focusing on important aspects of men's mental health.

We break down myths about men and emotional expression, explore the importance of creating supportive environments, and share practical advice on how to talk about feelings. We also explore how conflict can strengthen relationships and why validation is key to effective communication.

Key Points

Debunking Myths about Men’s Emotions

• John challenges the idea that men struggle to talk about their feelings: "I think men are very capable of engaging in conversations about what's going on in their world and inside them. It's not about a genetic flaw; it's about creating environments that encourage such conversations."

Creating Supportive Environments

• We discuss how to foster spaces that encourage men to share their emotions and feel safe doing so.

The Role of Validation

• Understanding how to validate someone’s feelings without agreeing with them: "You can validate and be connected or be right and be alone. Validation is about acknowledging the person's experience."

Conflict as a Tool

• Discover how conflict can help you understand your partner better and strengthen your relationship.

Practical Advice

• Get actionable tips on fostering better communication and emotional expression, including the use of open-ended questions and creating safe spaces for emotional conversations.

Repairing Relationships

• Learn why making repairs after conflicts is crucial and how to do it effectively.

Community Support

• Explore ways to find support in your community, even outside of therapy.

Featured Quotes

• "I think men are very capable of engaging in conversations about what's going on in their world and inside them. It's not about a genetic flaw; it's about creating environments that encourage such conversations."

John  Flanagan

• "You can validate and be connected or be right and be alone. Validation is about acknowledging the person's experience."

About your guest 

John has an extensive history working with and supporting individuals and couples since completing his Bachelor of Social Work in 1988 and later a Masters in Gestalt Therapy and certification in Gottman Couples Therapy.

John is one of the first two Certified Gottman Couple Therapists in Australia - 

and only two Australians to hold the title of Certified Gottman Couple Therapist, Advanced Clinical Trainer and Consultant. 

Not only does John provide the accredited training for all of the Gottman Levels in Australia, he also facilitates many other trainings to professionals, key note speaking to groups as well as being a co author of '365 Simple Ideas to Improve your Relationship'

John regularly has clients seek his services from all around the world.

Resources

Gottman card deck app - on smartphone

Books 

7 principles to make marriage work by John Gottman

8 Dates book

John Gottman, PhD and Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD. Doug Abrams and Rachel Carlton Abrams, MD

Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life  Emily Nagoski

Fight Right How Successful Couples Turn Conflict Into Connection Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman and Dr. John Gottman