Description

Wondering if your relationship should involve more sex or comparing yourself to what you think is normal? You're not alone. Many couples quietly struggle with mismatched desire, emotional disconnection or unclear expectations about what intimacy should look like.

In this episode, I talk about what it really means to not be having enough sex, how responsive desire plays a role in long-term relationships, and why connection doesn’t always come from frequency.

This one is honest, awkward in all the right ways and full of practical ways to start talking about sex in a way that brings you closer, not further apart.

Key takeaways:

• Why mismatched desire is more common than you think
• What the difference is between spontaneous and responsive desire
• How shame, stress, and resentment affect libido
• Why “not enough sex” often isn't about sex at all
• How to talk about desire and initiate without pressure
• The myth of “normal” frequency in relationships
• The dual control model: brakes, accelerators, and context
• What couples can learn from Emily Nagoski’s work?

If this episode sounds like something you or your partner need to hear, share it with them. Sex is just one way we connect but the conversation around it can be the most meaningful part.

Resources:

Emily Nagoski – Come As You Are

Connected Teens

https://marievakakis.com.au/connected-teens/

Connect with Marie

https://thetherapyhub.com.au/

https://marievakakis.com.au/

https://www.instagram.com/marievakakis/

Submit a question to the Podcast

https://forms.gle/nvNQyw9gJXMNnveY6

Mentioned in this episode:

Join me live Jan 28th for the Relationship New Year Reset
https://marievakakis.com.au/relationship-new-year-reset-2026/