Description

This episode of Gay Men Going Deeper is less of a casual conversation and more of a confidence masterclass. One you’ll likely want to come back to again and again.

We break down what real, unshakeable confidence actually is (and what it isn’t). Not the loud, performative kind, but the grounded confidence that comes from self-trust, self-compassion, and emotional regulation.

We talk honestly about why confidence can feel harder for gay men, how minority stress and shame shape a harsh inner critic, and how we deal with setbacks. In this episode, we cover:

• How confidence is built through action, discomfort, self-compassion
• How shame and the inner critic quietly undermine self-trust
• Whether “fake it till you make it” actually works… and where it falls apart
• Why taking action builds confidence (and how inaction erodes it)
• How self-compassion keeps confidence intact when things go wrong
• What to do when confidence wobbles after rejection, embarrassment, or insecurity

If you’ve ever looked confident on the outside but felt shaky on the inside, this episode will help you understand why, and give you a clear, grounded path forward.

Save this one. It’s the kind of episode you’ll get something new from every time you listen.

Today's Hosts:

• Michael DiIorio - Take the 360° Self-Review for Gay Men
• Matt Landsiedel
• Reno Johnston

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• Watch podcast episodes on YouTube
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- LEARN WITH US -

• Building Better Relationships online course: Learn how to nurture more meaningful and authentic connections with yourself and others.
• Healing Your Shame online course: Begin the journey toward greater confidence and self-worth by learning how to recognize and deal with toxic shame.
• Gay Men Going Deeper Coaching Collection: Lifetime access to BOTH courses + 45 coaching videos and 2 workshop series.
• Take the Attachment Style Qui...

Chapters

• (00:00:05) - Gay Men Going Deeper: How to Build Confidence
• (00:01:05) - How to Build Unshakable Confidence
• (00:04:35) - What Actually Build Unshakable Confidence?
• (00:11:14) - How Do You Build Unshakable Self Confidence?
• (00:15:18) - How to Build Confidence
• (00:19:02) - Self-Compassion vs. Boastful
• (00:20:16) - What helps you build confidence? Join our Connection Circles
• (00:21:06) - Faking It Till It Actually Works
• (00:24:55) - "Faking It" Has It Work For You?
• (00:29:26) - Kinda Like Fake It Till You Make It
• (00:33:30) - You Should Be More Frumpy On The Podcast
• (00:33:48) - Gay Men: Unshakable Self Confidence
• (00:34:53) - How To Deal With Confirmations
• (00:39:15) - Reno on Being Confident
• (00:41:55) - How Do You Deal With Confidence
• (00:47:48) - Queens Talk About Self-Compassion
• (00:52:33) - Gayman's Brotherhood: Connection Circle