Since the essence of empathy is to understand people who are different than you are, it requires the willingness to cross borders of one kind or another. But what happens when the hardest borders to cross exist within ourselves—across competing desires, beliefs, and identities?
In this episode, host Jason Coker introduces Tindo, a beloved member of the Oceanside Sanctuary community. Born intersex and assigned male at birth, Tindo was surgically reassigned as female at three months old and raised as "Cynthia." After living for five decades in a gender identity that never quite fit—including time as a debutante and women's auxiliary member—Tindo began a courageous journey of self-discovery to reclaim their authentic self.
Tindo shares their powerful story of navigating the medical and societal trauma of being an intersex person in a binary world. They discuss the profound "empathy journey" required to forgive their parents for decisions made without consent, and how they found spiritual affirmation in the words of Jesus. This conversation is a testament to the power of self-compassion and the possibility of post-traumatic growth.
The Intersex Reality: Understanding the biological reality of intersex bodies (1.7% of the population) and the history of non-consensual medical interventions.
Living as Cynthia: Tindo’s experience growing up with a secret medical history and the pressure to perform hyper-femininity.
The Empathy Journey: How Tindo moved from anger to understanding, using self-empathy to reconcile with their father and the memory of their mother.
Biblical Validation: A deep dive into Matthew 19, where Jesus’s discussion of eunuchs offers a liberating theology for gender-liminal lives.
Faith & Legislation: A look at current political efforts to erase intersex existence and why spiritual communities must stand for truth.
Join us for a conversation about the borders we cross to find our true selves, and the grace we find on the other side.
Mentioned in this Episode:
Chicago Tribune Article (2018) by Nara Schoenberg profiling Tindo/Cynthia
North County LGBTQ Resource Center & Pride by the Beach
Post-Traumatic Growth research by Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun
Self-Compassion research by Kristin Neff and Paul Gilbert
Scripture: Matthew 19; Deuteronomy 24
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