“Men as Fathers”
Ephesians 6:4
In a courtroom, many years ago, a young man was being sentenced to prison. The judge had known the young man from childhood, and he was also acquainted with his father, a famous legal scholar who had authored an exhaustive study titled, “The Law of Trusts.”
“Do you remember your father?” the magistrate asked. “I remember him well, your honor.” Trying to probe the offender’s conscience, the judge said, “As you are about to be sentenced and as you think of your wonderful dad, what do you remember most clearly about him?”
After a pause, the young man said. “Well, I remember when I went to him for advice. He looked up at me from the book he was writing and said, ‘Run along, boy; I’m busy!’ When I went to him for companionship, he turned me away, saying ‘Run along, son; this book must be finished!’ Your honor, you remember him as a great lawyer. I remember him as a lost friend.” Hearing this, the judge muttered to himself, “Alas! He finished the book, but he lost the boy!”
You and I grieve over the tragedy of that broken relationship between father and son. But let’s not rush to judgment. After all, “How many of us have said similar words to our children, the only difference being, we weren’t writing a book?” The degeneracy of our culture is a daily reminder that this ineffective kind of fathering has been, perhaps, the most common method in recent decades.
As a result, many young fathers, even Christian fathers, are unsure about what their role is. If you’re a pastor or community leader and a young father comes to you for advice, what would you tell him? In our community, we have a state funded Center for Families that runs something called the “Fatherhood Initiative.” There’s probably something similar where you live. Would you send a young father there?
I will, as the saying goes, “lay all my cards on the table” right here at the beginning. Any organization or group that proposes to help fathers understand their role but is either forbidden by law to use the Bible as a guide, or simply ignores the biblical principles of fatherhood, will not have a lasting impact. If you or I or anyone else really wants to help men understand and fulfill their role as fathers, there is only one primary source-book – the Word of God.
The conviction that the Word of God is the primary source of wisdom and training for fathers leads us back to the principle we’ve noted several times in the past few weeks; the dual responsibilities given to men in Genesis 2:15, to “work and to keep.” Today, we will begin to examine how these two basic commands provide a foundation upon which to develop our understanding and practice of “Men as Fathers.”
As we begin, I will read several selected verses of Scripture which a have direct bearing on the topic we are addressing. I invite you to listen as I read.
Genesis 2:7-9, 15; Proverbs 23:26; Ephesians 6:4
These Scriptures and others remind us that the main responsibilities of working and keeping are fulfilled in the PROCESSES of fathering – they are, discipling and discipline.
The First PROCESS is,
The Discipling of Children
There is a fairly common lament among fathers today that goes something like this. “Pastor, I have a problem. I just found out that my sixteen-year-old son is hanging out with friends I disapprove of, and I think he’s using drugs. I have no idea how this could happen.I spent a lot of money to send him to Christian school, our family was always in church on Sunday morning, and we faithfully sent the children to VBS. My wife and I monitored his friends, to make sure they came from good families, and we tried to screen the TV shows he watched. We even spanked him when he was little. Where did we go wrong?”
I would say that the problem...
