Men as Fathers II
Ephesians 6:4
The Discipline of Children
In previous studies, I’ve quoted from Richard Phillips’ book, “The Masculine Mandate.” In his chapter on the discipline of children, he points out that many of the great men of the Bible, men like Jacob, David, Eli, Samuel, Jehoshaphat, and Hezekiah, all had sons who were rapists, murderers, gluttons, child-sacrificing idol worshipers, and insurrectionists. Then he asks, “What is going on with these sons of heroes?”
Obviously, there’s more than one reason for the failures in the lives of these sons, but one of them must be the lack of time father spent with his sons. After all, great and powerful men, like kings, prophets, and priests, have a lot to do. They feel they don’t have time to spend winning the hearts of their children. As a result, the sons of those who are important, rich, and famous, often grow older without growing up – they remain spoiled children!
The Bible makes significant statements about most of the men I listed earlier. Eli preferred the meat which his sons stole from the offerings, with the fat still on it, even though God prohibited it. How could he discipline them when he refused to discipline himself? Samuel’s sons were greedy, took bribes, and perverted judgment leading to Israel’s ill-advised hankering for a king.
And David, the man after God’s own heart, had horrible things happening in his family. How could it be that such a great Bible hero could have such a messed-up family? Well, listen to First Kings 1:6. Speaking of David’s son, Adonijah, here’s what it says; “And his father had never at any time displeased him by asking, why have you done this?” Never, at any time had David exercised discipline in Adonijah’s life! What a prescription for ruin. I am so grateful for my dad who disciplined me when I needed it. I don’t know where I’d be today without that.
Reflecting on the failures of these godly men forces us to acknowledge the same kinds of failures are with us today. Many fathers, even some pastors, invest so much time in their work that their children suffer. They are forgetting the second part of the biblical mandate – to keep, to guard, to protect. This keeping is accomplished through the loving discipline of the father.
Think about guarding and protecting your children. What is the greatest danger they face? Is it physical, like a car accident or an assault by a violent student in school? No, the greatest threat our children face isn’t physical; it is not from the outside, it is from the inside. The power of sin at work in their own hearts is the greatest of all dangers. Ted Tripp is the author of the book, “Shepherding a Child’s Heart.” He writes, “There are things in the heart of the sweetest little baby that, allowed to blossom and grow to fruition, will bring about eventual destruction.” He’s right.
It all comes down to the heart. We are born with a “bent” toward sin. Our heart, with its desires, poses a threat all by itself. All the sinful things around us, the external things, are a threat only because they appeal to the internal heart problem. If we deal with the internal problem, we decrease the appeal of the external sin. As part of our mandate to keep the hearts of our children, and to direct them to Christ, we must teach them how to curb the sinful cravings of their own heart. Ultimately, this can only be done successfully when the child yields his or her heart to Christ. But we get them started on that path from infancy by exercising proper, biblical discipline.
Ephesians 6:1 states, “Children obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” Obedience speaks of being under authority. God’s Word is the basisfor our understanding that children must learn to obey their parents. God said o...
