Women as Wives
Ephesians 5:22-24
Today, we look at the biblical definition of submission. I’ve titled the message, “Women as Wives.” The larger context of this teaching is how we as followers of Jesus are to walk in His will. The specific context is His will for the wife in a marriage. This study is the mirror to the one we had earlier on “Loving Leadership” that dealt with the husband’s role in the home.
Our text is Ephesians 5:22-24.
Let’s follow the STEPS Paul lays out to help us understand the principle of submission. Together, we’ll discover why God ordained this principle and its applications.
The First STEP is,
The Command for Submission
It is interesting that whenever the New Testament writers were led by the Holy Spirit to address the relationship between husband and wife, they always begin with the wife. Some would immediately respond by saying, “yes, that’s because they lived in a patriarchal society.” That claim does have some merit, but not like they think. A patriarchal society was not a development of civilization or culture; it was God’s plan from creation. From beginning to end the Bible supports the concept of male leadership. Man was created first; women was to be a helper suitable for him. We discussed that last week in our study together.
Because many contemporary Christians find this command so offensive, there are a variety of ongoing attempts to either explain it away or to weaken its implications. We hear things like, “Her husband is not a Believer, so God certainly doesn’t expect her to submit to him!” Or maybe, “Her husband is really going to make a foolish decision unless she intervenes. If she submits to his leadership, the family will suffer.”
I want you to notice, however, that the command has NO qualifiers; it just says, submit. Let me quickly say that a wife should NEVER do anything that violates Scripture. There are times when an unbelieving husband will ask his wife to do something that violates God’s Word. But even in refusing to disobey God she can demonstrate a submissive attitude. First Peter 3:1 gives specific instruction in this regard. “Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives…”
People who present the kind of excuses I listed a few moments ago are forgetting something very important. God works through structures of authority regardless of whether they are Christian or not. This truth is illustrated many times in both the Old and the New Testament. A Christian wife who submits to an unbelieving husband is following this principle. God is still able to direct her life through her husband because he is her God-ordained leader.
Let’s go back to the situation where the husband is about to make a very unwise decision. Is it wrong for the wife to raise questions? Of course not! Don’t you and I raise questions when God is doing something in our lives we do not understand? But we do not, or should not, raise those questions in a demanding or arrogant way. We simply want more information so we can be better equipped to obey and serve Him. So, it is with the wife. Her husband can tell if she is sincerely trying to clarify the issue so she can better serve him.
But what if the husband goes ahead in spite of his wife’s warnings? Should she take matters into her own hands to prevent what she sees as a catastrophe? Not according to Scripture. Whenever a wife disobeys her husband there are always negative consequences. That began in the Garden of Eden when Eve ate of the forbidden fruit. They may not be as readily seen in the short term, but they will appear as time goes on.
Notice with me the last part of verse twenty-two. Here we learn HOW the wife is to submit to...
