Dealing with pain, whether it’s from the loss of a loved one, a physical pain, or something else entirely can take it’s toll on us all.
In this episode, we dive into some of the benefits that pain can bring. It isn’t all bad, and when we make it through, we usually end up better on the other side.
At one point or another we all deal with pain, with grief, with suffering of some sort. Maybe it’s a physical pain from an accident or disease. It could be an emotional pain from a loss of a loved one, a betrayal, or something different. Maybe for you there is a social injustice you’re facing. You might also feel pain in the form of empathy for others who are suffering. Mothers endure the pain of childbirth and athletes endure the pain of their training to compete at the best of their ability. So pain isn’t all bad.
One thing we need to remind ourselves is that the pain or suffering we’re going through helps to bring perspective to our lives.
Pain and suffering has a way of humbling us. What I don’t mean with the word “humble” is someone who thinks they suck, or is always down on themselves. Someone with no backbone. That’s not at all what I’m talking about. What I’m talking about is that we get taken down a notch when we’re in pain.
I think being humble like this is a good thing. Being humble sometimes has a bad connotation associated with it. Like being too passive or insecure. But I think humble people are just the opposite. They’re confident enough in themselves that they let their actions speak for themselves. Humble people know their self-worth. They don’t feel the need to boast and brag about how great they are like their more prideful counterparts. Being humble doesn’t mean that they think less of themselves, rather it means that they think of themselves less.
Humility tends to come with enhanced situational awareness where you might focus your attention on other people or things to learn more about what’s going on. You’re not constantly focused on yourself.
As a result, humble people tend to listen more than they speak. We’ve all been in a conversation where you can tell the other person isn’t listening, and is just waiting for you to take a breath so they can inject what they have on their mind. Why do they do this? They believe that what they have to say is more important, more valuable than listening to what you have to say. A more humble person is listening to what other people have to say before speaking. They try to understand other people’s perspectives without talking over people. A humble person realizes that there is more to learn from others.
In a way, being in pain pushes us to rely on others. Imagine you have this big prideful personality, and then all of a sudden you come walking into work on crutches. It takes the wind out of your sail a bit. You’re no longer this indestructible perfect person that you might have previously made yourself out to be. You’re maybe relying on someone else to help carry something into your office for you. After the loss of a loved one, we might realize that “yea, I need that shoulder to cry on”. Pain makes us realize that we can’t carry these burdens all on our own.
Pain and suffering causes us to shape our own belief systems. When something bad happens to us or someone we know we may question “why do bad things happen to good people?” A more religious person might question “why would God allow something like this to happen?” On the other hand we might forge a different perspective. We might ask instead, “what good can come of this?” Or the religious person could ask “how can God use this for good?”
I haven’t really talked about this on the podcast before, but my brother was KIA in Afghanistan in 2010. I don’t want to get too much into it now, but I’ll talk more about this in another episode. I remember on the night he was killed I was taking a shower so I was alone and asking God wh...
