Scott DeLuzio: [00:00:00] Thanks for tuning in to the Drive On Podcast where we are focused on giving hope and strength to the entire military community. Whether you’re a veteran, active duty, guard, reserve, or a family member, this podcast will share inspirational stories and resources that are useful to you. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio, and now let’s get on with the show.

Hey, everybody. Welcome back to Drive On. I’m your host, Scott DeLuzio. And today, my guest is Ruth Clare. Ruth is the author of the memoir Enemy. Which explores her life as the child of a Vietnam veteran, and the impacts of PTSD not only on veterans, but also on their families. Ruth’s journey includes personal struggles and insights that shine a light on the generational consequences of war.

She’s also a TEDx speaker. Who shares valuable tools for recovery from complex [00:01:00] PTSD. And today we’ll dive deep into her story and the lessons she’s learned along the way and all the way from Australia. I want to welcome you to the show, Ruth. I’m really glad to have you here.

Ruth Clare: It’s very exciting to be here. Thank you so much for having me.

Scott DeLuzio: Yeah, absolutely. Um, so in the intro, I mentioned that you. are the child of a Vietnam veteran who suffered from PTSD. Can you tell us about what it was like for you growing up with a parent who had PTSD in that type of environment?

Ruth Clare: Yeah. So I was born in 1974. My dad was a Vietnam veteran and he fought in the Vietnam War in 1968 to 1969. And PTSD wasn’t even, um, named as a psychological condition until 1980. And the way that, um, they treated Vietnam veterans in [00:02:00] Australia at that time was pretty much. He’s two hours of debriefing and off you go, don’t mention the war.

Scott DeLuzio: Sure.

Ruth Clare: So, um, my dad had, had been ejected from his, his experience in the military back into civilian life. He’d been one of the, um, 16, 000 conscripted. Australians, um, who fought in that Vietnam war. Um, and so growing up, I didn’t have any context. My dad didn’t seek any help for PTSD, even after it was, um, something that became more well known in the psychological community. one talked about the war. My dad didn’t really. interact with other veterans. I didn’t have an identity of myself as the child of a veteran. I just knew that my dad, really angry, really quickly. And I could never predict what it was that was gonna set off his anger. So I. [00:03:00] Might leave a bike in the yard or run through the house or, um, speak too loudly or take him by surprise in some way.

And he might just turn around and start beating the crap out of me. And so I spent my entire childhood just. Watching him and trying to figure out what I was doing was impacting his mood so that I could either adapt to what I was doing or stop what I was doing or get out of his way. Um, so it was pretty stressful and confusing because As a child, you think that everything is about you.

Um, and I thought his behavior was a reflection of the fact that he just, no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried, he just didn’t love me. And that I didn’t know how to figure out how to change that.

Scott DeLuzio: Is [00:04:00] basically the description of kind of a classic PTSD symptoms that you see in people where they are just It’s sometimes unpredictable, um, you don’t know what’s gonna set somebody off, if, is it a loud noise, is it you sneaking up behind them, whether it’s...