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POLICE FIND A GUN HIDDEN BETWEEN A MAN'S BUTT CHEEKS

A WOMAN TRYING TO PEE BETWEEN CARS ON A MOVING SUBWAY TRAIN, FALLS TO THE TRACKS AND IS CRUSHED

A TOPLESS PHOTO WHORE IN TIMES SQUARE IS ARRESTED FOR ALLEGEDLY OFFERING TO BLOW A COP FOR $200 

GUEST, COMEDIAN AND OLD FRIEND, THE LEGENDARY TOM RYAN (LETTERMAN).