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Lords:
* Eitan
* https://www.firehosegames.com/
* Xalavier
* https://twitter.com/WritNelson
Topics:
* When I was a kid I hated gym class. Now I'm kinda sad that no one forces me to play sports on a semi-regular basis
* How long is it polite to stare at a person before it gets weird for you, specifically (assuming they haven't seen you).
* When asked why some people find her music to be spiritual, Enya explained that "It's the amount of reverb we use."
* "Eighty Million Years Ago," by Bill Watterson
* https://sites.google.com/site/mrkoofloradale/common-lessons/language/languagemorecalvinandhobbespoetry
* Untrue facts about human anatomy
* Things that have been on your "I'm gonna do it" list for 10+ years, that you will in fact probably never get around to doing
* Why do cows have four stomachs but only one butthole?
Microtopics:
* Space Warlord Organ Trading Simulator.
* As many digits as you can imagine.
* The trope where you change costumes at a party to make people think you are more than one person.
* Your game's extremely long title breaking Steam's web site.
* Petting dogs using a different hand each time.
* A cat person who made a game about dogs.
* A giant person insisting that you go outside and play sports.
* When seagulls are full grown but they haven't realized they're adults yet so they're still begging other seagulls for food.
* A teenager realizing that they are now bigger than their parents and could beat the shit out of either of them at any time.
* Remembering that you enjoyed basketball in grade school and deciding to play basketball as an adult and realizing that the only adults who are still playing basketball are a thousand times better than you are.
* Observing and fearing that you will be observed in turn.
* Trying to predict who will decide you are a creep.
* Deciding whether you are a creep vs. letting others decide.
* Watching an elderly person for as long as they are still alive.
* Staring at someone forever in a nursing home and nobody gives a shit because there's no staring time limit in a nursing home.
* PvP for Perverts.
* Finding white papers to determine how long it's safe to stare at strangers under various conditions.
* Knowing everything you need to know about someone after seeing them for 1/10th of a second.
* Paying doppelgangers to do good deeds so people instinctively associate your appearance with good deeds.
* The Serious Batmans.
* A guy who is the Penguin who was raised by penguins.
* Figuring out how to make everybody feel every emotion all the time.
* Your own voice being very small but the voices you hear being really big.
* Listening from inside the Gregorian chanter's mouth.
* Finding a dungeon in which to sacrifice your goats.
* The Church of Satan asking to put their goat on display.
* Picking the most terrifying name for your rationalist philosophy.
* A 10 year old putting the Transformers movie on hold at the local library.
* A 30 minute toy commercial that somehow got run on television.
* Watching Optimus Prime die.
* A surprisingly queer road trip impacting robot-kind through time and space.
* Transformers: More Than Meets The Eye.
* Chasing after a glowing cube that's going to give you power.
* Edison making documentary about electrocuting an elephant to prove that DC power is dangerous.
* Falling in love with a pigeon with laser eyes.
* The Christmas story where bloodthirsty reindeer are stalking Rudolph and he hides in a closet and they spot the light glowing under the door.
* Giving your child the talk about where Fortnite skins come from.
* The Santa FPS where your gun is all the reindeer and instead of muzzle flash Rudolph's nose glows.
* A ripped Santa Claus running over Peter Parker.
* Fore and aft serrations.
* Dawdling by the candy shop and being devoured.
* The terrible secret of Ragnasaurth's bones.
* Taking back the soul of the nation via Tyrannosaur poetry.
* TikTok? More like "tick tock it's time to write some dinosaur poetry."
* How neurotransmitters definitely don't work.
* The volunteer who proved that if you uncoil all the blood vessels in the human body they will reach the moon and back seven times.
* All your serotonin languishing under a heat lamp because whoever runs the diner in your brain is a real dick.
* How to convey facial expressions via sound effects in an audio medium.
* Gymnasts getting hiccups by rotating too much and having to rotate the other way to cure them.
* Not being old enough to have a bucket list.
* Fried butter.
* Waiting on tenterhooks for when it's ok to eat fried butter again.
* Deciding on your deathbed to take a bath in butter.
* Learning enough about tubes that you can hack the IV bag whenever you want to get more opiates.
* Two-socks McGillicuddy.
* Whether the guy's name is Fried Jesus or Fried Jesus.
* When you saw one set of footprints in the sand it was because you collapsed thirty miles back.
* Loss-leader churros.
* A really ethical company in a sea of Wal-marts.
* The pros and cons of having four stomachs in sequence vs. four stomachs in parallel.
* The cow not being impressed by the extra buttholes you installed at first, but later thanking you when it needs to propel itself around in microgravity.
* How much of your surface area needs to be butthole before you are yourself considered a butthole.
* A 76% butthole being.
* If the new butthole is shaped like a smiley face, does that mean the cow is happy?
* Professional with a capital p.
