Listen

Cast

Description

Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early! (https://www.patreon.com/topiclords)
Lords:
* Jenni
* Chris
* https://imgur.com/a/t34TMw8
Topics:
* Every tree in this desert is a bean
* The statute of limitations on spoilers implies a social contract where we agree to consume media as soon as it's available instead of consuming it at the right time for ourselves
* This list of words that men know but women don't, and vice versa
* https://link.springer.com/article/10.3758/s13428-018-1077-9/tables/2
* https://twitter.com/v21/status/1372635082205364226/photo/1
* Ozymandias by Percy Shelley
* https://discoverpoetry.com/poems/percy-bysshe-shelley/ozymandias/
* https://twitter.com/PateraQuetzaI/status/1156300892733243392
* 41 out of 42 people start life with some time to chill by themselves in the womb but twins don't, what's that like
* Oldschool AD&D is hard to start but ultimately less video/board gamey which is great
* Wordle speed runs are surprisingly riveting
* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pk4qPtOelv8
Microtopics:
* Plugging every Xalavier Nelson game.
* Standing in a three bean soup.
* Everyone's favorite Fire Emblem hero, Spiky Ball Tree.
* Sweetgum.
* Producing liquid amber but not calling it liquid amber for trademark reasons.
* Whether it's possible to have green wood.
* A traumatic formative art school experience that you take out on trees for the rest of your life.
* Ablative armor.
* Spoilers for the first novel ever written.
* Seeing Empire Strikes Back dozens of times in the theater while in the womb.
* A spoiler policy that makes people hate you.
* Getting consent to gaslight your girlfriend about movies she hasn't watched.
* Picking a movie line to be the only joke you ever say.
* The list of movies for which there is no statute of limitations on spoilers.
* Using a pen knife to cut open your forearm to reveal the servomotors inside any time there's a lull in the conversation.
* The SpoilOrbs.
* Inventing the video game haptics to allow a game designer to kick you in the balls.
* Kittencore Dark Souls.
* Junji-ito's cat diary.
* Clutter in movies.
* Hiring excellent schlubby actors.
* Back when it was notable and interesting that Linda Hamilton got fit for Terminator 2.
* Getting an AI on the job.
* Laura Panini.
* Live coding skeletal animation.
* Rotating around a creepy lady.
* Asking if anyone's seen something but nobody has.
* When you push the button on the monitor and it goes all wibbly wobbly for a second.
* A list going there.
* A word that you only know if you read a lot of G.K. Chesterson.
* Little Kirbys that help you out in the event of a prolapse.
* How nobody in the UK knows what "goober" or "wine gums" means.
* Abseiling and rappelling.
* Putting "kerbside" on a list of words that Americans don't know.
* Polearms that were descended from boar hunting.
* Asking a thousand Americans to say yes or no to every word in the dictionary.
* The Katana Yakuza Thesis.
* Reading poetry in a funny voice.
* The kind of person who would end a poem with a semicolon.
* Reciting a poem about a guy you met yesterday who told you most of the poem.
* Hearing from a guy about a rotting stump of a conquest.
* Writing a poem where you meet a guy who tells you about a song that used to be on his iPod that you can no longer download from mp3 dot com.
* Yelling at a long dead poet about punctuation.
* Poetry about not knowing something but it's unclear whether nobody knows the thing or if it's just the poet's personal ignorance.
* Painting ancient Greek statues flesh-colored.
* Percy Shelley the nonsense man.
* Smash Mouth cancelling their concert at your county fair after they got famous.
* How to pronounce "shewed"
* What's wrong with looking upon me?
* 23 And Me informing you that you have a mom.
* The familial incest tab on 23 And Me.
* Twins: There's Two Of Them.
* Twins in the womb listening to the Empire Strikes Back soundtrack and elbowing each other.
* A person who could exist and would be attractive.
* Geocities turn of the century vibes.
* The t-shirt that Jim's wife bought him.
* How Futurama made the name "Hubert" cool but "Pubert" is still no good.
* Having six kids and naming them all Pubert.
* Naming an ice cream shop "Fucklers" because who can stop you? (The police.)
* Fucklers: Sole Owner of my Name Ice-Creamery.
* The holding company that owns every disused mascot.
* The Hamm's Beer Bear.
* Wordle speed run categories.
* Mathematicians who debunk Minecraft speed runs.
* Trying to invent fake commentary for a sport you know nothing about.
* Yelling advice to recorded speed runs.
* Watching everybody believe Wordle conspiracy theories.
* Comparing notes about reality.
* Preferring having friends over being right.
* The absolute best time to get off of social media.