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Lords:
- April is a park ranger at @aprilsaur.
- Danny makes video game documentaries at https://noclip.website/ and is on Twitter at @dannyodwyer.
Topics:
- 4:26 Intentionally teaching your child the wrong word for something.
- 14:44 Harbinger households.
- 21:29 Men's wallets.
- 31:45 Quill asks: "I've been planning to change my name recently. The first name that I came up with is 'Quill,' but I can't think of a good last name to go with it. Could you give me some suggestions, or some advice on how to come up with cool names?"
- 41:17 Shen Yun commercials are literally everywhere.
- 49:50 Woodpeckers can withstand impacts of 100gs.
- 57:24 Being an extremely unimaginative kid.
Microtopics:
- Reading numbers off of a list because topics haven't been invented yet.
- Giving someone a funny look where the funny part is that you're not looking at them.
- Cows that are so cute you want to want to put them in your mouth, which would surely kill them.
- The fuzzy cows only being fuzzy because it's winter.
- Falling off a cliff being the only way to hurt yourself in Ireland.
- The song they teach Irish children about American tourists falling off cliffs.
- Age differences being insignificant when you're millions of years old.
- Knowing two people but calling them both the same thing because one of their names is too hard to say.
- Which animals are close enough to a dog to call "dog."
- A perfect 1960s household but the dad is a cenobite.
- Not being sure if you have bad luck or if you're just a bad person.
- Product researchers studying what you like because everything you like fails.
- Lying to researchers so companies will still make products you like.
- Eating banana flavored corn flakes while you watch Milli Vanilli music videos on your Betamax player and Ralph Nader is the mayor.
- Moving to a zip code where all your neighbors have your same contrary taste in products.
- A wallet the size of four king-sized Snickers bars.
- Finding paradise in the wrong gender's department at Target.
- Feeling the thrill of being free of a giant heavy brick.
- Having to buy an expensive, fashionable watch because otherwise your peers won't take you seriously.
- Taking a photo of your ID and just showing the cop your Instagram.
- Getting a non-folding wallet so your dollar bills won't have creases.
- Explaining to the barista that the last guy put the crease in the dollar bill, not you.
- Promising the barista you won't fold the coffee either.
- Getting a note press so this sort of thing won't happen again.
- Getting to say your cool last name into a walkie talkie at work.
- Technically not appropriating anything because you're just using culture that's already been appropriated by someone else.
- A day full of mostly making people happy, for a change.
- Changing your last name to Ass and owing royalties to Ass owners.
- An opportunity for some serious synergy.
- Radio listeners celebrating other radio listeners.
- Deciding to throw the blue checkmark people in with gen pop.
- Waiting until you're on your deathbed to watch something to maximize anticipation.
- The last thing you see before they turn off the dialysis machine.
- Missing out on pop culture because you always click "skip ad" as soon as possible.
- Advertising your audience into submission.
- Trying to explain a slide rule without understanding what a slide rule is.
- Watching Alien in the theater with a baby strapped to your chest.
- Evolving to not kill yourself when you head butt a tree.
- Having an incredibly fancy tongue.
- Squirrels eating every single bulb from your string lights to humiliate you.
- A peregrine falcon drowning a songbird in a creek while looking you in the eye.
- Always being sure to catch the woodpecker with the beak facing away from you.
- Letting the other kids on the playground do the imagining for you.
- Deciding whether it's actually "great" to "e-meet" you.
