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Lords:
* James
* Avery
Topics:
* Stone paper
* "The Flashing Blade"
* The Number Ones
* https://www.stereogum.com/category/columns/the-number-ones/
* https://www.americanpoems.com/poets/stanley-kunitz/king-of-the-river/
* BREAKING NON MAMMALIAN MILK NEWS!! Sorry mammals, cockroaches make milk and it is considered a complete food
Microtopics:
* The latest on whether or not you've been canceled.
* Spotify rejecting your album because you don't believe in yourself enough.
* Spagbol.
* The very one that is being digested by you now.
* thisbolognesedoesnotexist.com
* Paper that is 60% stone.
* The price you pay for participating in art.
* Coffee that is more powerful than a laptop.
* What happens if you try to shred margarine.
* Documents only for the document control society.
* The Novelty FBI raiding your house and confiscating your Novelty Top Secret Documents and hiding them in their fake Groucho Marx glasses.
* The guy who bought the last 100 Groucho Marx glasses from Party City.
* Moustache Ninja.
* Why more people aren't talking about Moustache Ninja.
* The height of Pirate Ninja Robot Mustache Mania.
* Ankle Biter Man.
* Atrocities Guide.
* One of many reasons why real life superheroes are a bad idea.
* Superheroes: police except there is no oversight whatsoever.
* Avery's Angels on Phoenix Jones.
* If Seattle police arrest you for being nude, they are legally obligated to provide you with a dinner jacket for your jail stay.
* Heath Ledger instructing the audience to charge their shower.
* The Masked Magician Revealed.
* TV stage magic.
* David Copperfield raising the Titanic.
* The Cheap Trick song that got to #1.
* The songs that hit #1 because General Hospital used them on the soundtrack.
* An antidote to the idea that music used to be better.
* Breaking Up is Hard to Do.
* Finding a way to enjoy art that you didn't like before.
* Getting old and liking boring music.
* What radio formats overlap with Beautiful Music.
* A foam snake that shoots thirty feet into the air and then drifts into a nearby tree.
* Tumbling over the rocks until you paint them with your belly's blood.
* That other flesh, heavy with milt, bruised, battering toward the dam that lips the orgiastic pool.
* Limber and firm in the state of his shining, forever inheriting his salt kingdom, from which he is banished forever.
* The most animalistic and primitive part of your consciousness.
* An Atari 2600 game inspired by a poem about a fish.
* The level in Dante's Inferno where you have to fight unbaptized babies.
* A game with one foot in the majesty of Greek mythology and the other foot in what it's like to bash someone's head into the concrete.
* A great use of thumbsticks.
* Whether Wisdom Tree would've published the Dante's Inferno video game.
* Spending your entire life obsessed with the pear you stole as a kid.
* An illumination of someone kneeling in front of a pear tree and weeping.
* Pop songs about relationship situations.
* An idea that is not as old as music.
* A piece of music going right for the emotion, like the Windows Startup Sound.
* Melody in lyrics, in conversation with each other.
* Seeing a person and drawing a stick figure.
* How do I get too much into my own head?
* Why you're turning into a fish, and what the fish represents.
* Sea Monkeys' Garden of Earthly Delights.
* Do we want to get to the Cockroach Milk?
* Being accosted on the street by Topic Lords fans asking for non-mammalian milk news but you're like "sorry I'm saving this for Topic Lords"
* How many cockroaches it takes to make one serving of cockroach milk.
* Sobbing in front of the slab of meat that Rocky punched.
* Pouring cockroach milk onto stone paper to prove its resiliency.
