Lords:
* Avery
* Tyriq
Topics:
* Adam, Father of all humankind, was maybe a giant
* Heathcliff is still going and it's weird
* I've heard a million novelty metal covers but still nobody's done Truly Scrumptious / Doll on a Music Box from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
* "The Phone Call" by James Tate
Microtopics:
* Withholding all your best URLs until the end of the episode.
* Using lowercase Ls in place of Is and seeing if anybody notices.
* Leaving capitalizations to the whims of chaos. (Your fingers.)
* Teachers explaining that if you can't write in cursive by junior high your teachers will throw things at you and call you stupid.
* Adam and Eve growing to 18 feet tall.
* Pre-flood humans and their towering heights/lifespans/IQs.
* How to make your wisdom teeth fit again.
* Conspiracy theories that have no bearing on anything.
* Fighting wars over the estimated radius of the earth.
* The Nephilim.
* YHWH fanfiction.
* How many Jesuses are alive today.
* The friend you have with superhuman charisma and whether they ended up starting a cult.
* Getcherself a nice cult, settle down, have a thousand babies.
* The guy who was both a dwarf and a giant during his lifetime.
* Every tall person having been short at one point.
* Chain-smoking tweens drinking martinis and yelling at their secretaries.
* A Topic Lords ouroboros.
* Hypothesizing why the elderly people Heathcliff lives with have a child.
* Having a child for some reason.
* A humanoid robot with the word "meat" printed on its chest.
* The kind of people who read comics every day.
* Zippy the Pinhead.
* A weird underground subculture comic that somehow made it into newspaper syndication.
* Mustache Mondays vs. Mustache Lasagna.
* A milk mustache but for lasagna.
* A cartoon anvil that has its weight imprinted on it.
* Two side characters explaining the situation to each other.
* One of the birds says to the other, "Christ, what an asshole."
* Historians a thousand years from now deciding whether Heathcliff should be included in the Bible.
* After recorded media stops being a thing, episodes of The Simpsons being passed down as oral history.
* Rhapsodes.
* Contests for the best rhapsode.
* Hector of the Shining Helmet vs. Hector the Booty Inspector.
* Fillet episodes in the Odyssey and the Iliad.
* The Flaming Lips album that comes on four CDs that your supposed to play simultaneously, but nobody's ever bothered.
* How they handle hidden tracks on Spotify.
* How to deal with skits when you're ripping rap albums to mp3.
* The Meat Puppets playing a set in the middle of Nirvana'a MTV Unplugged set.
* Writing a song about a shooting star who's been turned into a rat and has just fallen in love with someone named Tristran, and trying to figure out what rhymes with Tristran.
* Working at the Brill Building.
* Tin Pan Alley.
* Nearly jumping out of your pants.
* Taking a high-paying job as a murder victim.
* The one where people wear horse skulls.
* The Scrambler, from issue #12 where the panels were all out of order.
* Working at the oil refinery until a giant spider comes and steals the Light of the Silmarils.
* Whether there's a werewolf in the Silmarillion.
* Biblical Exigesis.
* Getting email saying that your art is improving someone's life.
* A phone that can receive text messages but you have to pay extra to know who they're from.
