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Lords:
* Jenni is on an internet break but you can email her at jenni@jennipolodna.com.
* Gary is @GaryBuh on Twitter and does podcasts at the Duckfeed network. http://duckfeed.tv/
Topics:
* 1:41 How did people decide to eat certain vegetables, even though they don't look like food and sometimes taste like shit?
* 4:18 Stephen King writing about boners (there is a Tumblr)
* https://stephenkingsboners.tumblr.com/
* https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gerald%27sGame#Plot
* 12:28 Airplane respiration strategies
* https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2017/05/explore-transparent-plants/
* 16:45 Being resourceful when you don't have the correct tool. For example, I recently unblocked a toilet by using a mouse pad in place of a plunger.
* 23:28 Replacing combat in video games with other stuff to slow down the pacing
* 33:27 What age were you meaningfully aware of your mortality? Did something happen?
* 38:06 The MT-80s MIDI boom box
* https://twitter.com/cabel/status/979097369936502785
* https://vgmusic.com/
* 48:21 Things that you do so people will think you're an adult but you can't figure out if there's another purpose for doing them
* 55:10 You can only listen to one song for the rest of eternity, you don't get to pick. How much money would it take, what song is the worst.
* Gunhouse trailer with the title screen jingle I was talking about: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WB0yAm6iXEw
* Here's a better trailer for a later version of Gunhouse, with better music FWIW: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzokB1821Mw
* Tony Hawk's Two Second Music Loop https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uofB1Y1gOk
Microtopics:
* Goin' Polodna.
* Goin' Polodna but bein' named Butterfield.
* Only car thieves remaining.
* Giving your guest a hard time for plugging something when you just asked them to plug something.
* Being inspired by an eggplant you once had.
* Stockholm syndrome but for vegetables.
* A color that doesn't exist on earth.
* Trying to cook every substance for every amount of time because you don't have Netflix.
* Laundering a horse through a book.
* The pe-noose.
* Trying to Google which Stephen King book had the necklace of penises.
* Deeming a penis to be a boner.
* Looking upon a pubic hair topiary and despairing.
* Sculpting the day your paramour will die into your pubic hair on the first date.
* Fred Meyer's daughter, J.C. Penney.
* Not having any particular insight into this boner blog.
* Being a little bit hornt up despite being trapped in a Fred Meyer by the murder frog outside.
* Whether or not "pud" is short for "pudding" or indeed anything.
* A zoetrope showing Goofy pulling down his pants every 7 seconds.
* A plexiglass box that is big enough for your head and a fern.
* Hacking the oxygen mask to come down when you just need a hit.
* Sprinkling some foliage on your head to make it look like the fern next to your head is just a lump on your face.
* Sticking your head in the fern box under the seat in front of you and painting your face on your pants so your butt can wear the oxygen mask.
* The tactile sensation of unclogging a toilet using a mouse pad.
* The best water level for plunging a toilet.
* Needing an articulated arm like Krang's to plunge the toilet from around the corner.
* Trying to guess the Game Boy games being used to prop up a projector.
* The Podcaster's Dilemma.
* Maligning the Final Fantasy Legend series.
* Deciding that your punishment will be a good night's sleep and a stern toothbrushing.
* Playing Final Fantasy Legend while you brush each other's teeth live on AGDQ.
* Asking a question that you'd already answered in a previous episode and just copy-pasting the answer from there.
* Not being in good enough shape to sleep everywhere.
* Ripping through the topics and needing to dip into the extended bucket.
* A gigantic bucket of shelf-stable potato soup that you save for the end times.
* Setting up a P.O. box so your listeners can send you a big pile of food and toy cars so you can not eat for a week and then eat an enormous megameal.
* A Visual Studio plugin that lets you play text adventures anyone while looking like you're at work.
* Pressing the boss key to hide that you're playing an ancient video game and your boss asking you why you're writing emails in Word Perfect 2.0.
* Having a child to reduce your mortality anxiety.
* Having a child so they can do the heimlich when you choke on a ham sandwich.
* Subtweeting your cat.
* Not being meaningfully aware of your mortality but still making decisions based on not dying.
* Overcorrecting and turning into a maudlin fucker.
* A boom box with a floppy drive playing canyon.mid.
* A product with no conceivable audience except the nerds who will think it's cool and nostalgic thirty years from now.
* Opening a cabinet and your coffee mug singing the Zelda "you found the thing" jingle.
* The intentionality of listening to music in the most inconvenient way possible.
* Listening to music and lighting random pieces of paper on fire.
* A very zinelike activity.
* Independent movie theaters all vanishing in an eyeblink.
* Filling the delivery tube with potato soup and sending it to the bank teller.
* Chuck E. Cheese classing it up with woodfired, chef-inspired pizza.
* Getting carryout from the Chuck E. Cheese and your chef-inspired pizza coming with a side of orange spider rings.
* Sleeping on a mattress on the floor for years until your new girlfriend insists you get a real bed.
* Putting a tennis ball on top of the screws you're supposed to attach the footboard to so you know where to park your keister.
* Your migrating bedframe, a keter-class problem in the bedroom.
* The one time it makes sense to have a strong opinion about someone else's bed.
* Wiping down the incision site because if you get an infection after you die it's just never going to heal.
* Only being allowed to listen to one song for the rest of your life.
* The one song you're allowed to listen to also replacing music you hear in your head or anything you sing.
* Trying to sing Happy Birthday to a co-worker but it always comes out as the chorus of "Selling the Drama" by Live.
* All music in the world being replaced by the Intel Inside jingle.
* The Zelda item noise secretly being the same as the Addams Family theme song.
* Going to a concert and suddenly the band can only play the song you are cursed with.
* The CIA discovering your musical curse and studying you on the dissection table like in Project ALF.
* $10 million per For Fighting.
