Lords:
* Ryan
* CisHetKayfaber
Topics:
* My vocal stims are getting out of control now that I don't have pets.
* Training to become a Tetris Grandmaster
* https://www.youtube.com/@cishetkayfaber/videos
* Switching to not-bifocals
* Eagle Eye Cherry - Save Tonight
* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nntd2fgMUYw
Microtopics:
* Introducing yourself or plugging something.
* Going to Cape Town for Playtopia.
* Enemies to enemies to lovers.
* A game conference with a name that sounds way too much like Fruitopia.
* What you would do for an Orbitz right now.
* An apple juice with basil seeds ensconced in it, like an Orbitz.
* I'm not mean, I'm just trying to manifest bullying.
* Semisolid Kind of Life.
* A dog following you into the kitchen and acting like a Ghostbusters trap except for all your bullshit rather than ectoplasm.
* The movie about the prep school kids who poop on the floor at their magic school.
* Making yourself laugh by doing a Gollum voice while you make a sandwich.
* Hanging up a happy face on the fridge and writing "mirror" on top of it to convince yourself that you're okay.
* An action figure that absorbs all the dark energy aimed at you.
* Giving advice to someone that you really have no basis for.
* The dog who loved your terrible celebrity impressions and the dog who gives you a look like "I expected more of you"
* Your online source for news about what water parks Jim and his family went to.
* The kind of Tetris that you become s grandmaster in.
* Tetris but the pieces don't fall, they just instantly appear at the bottom of the well.
* How the Tetris company wants you to play Tetris.
* Delayed Auto-Shift.
* Doing a hadouken move to place the zigzag piece in the correct column.
* Stack faster, stack better.
* A skill you can practice and get better at.
* Training for three or four hours a day on a hacked PlayStation Vita to become a Tetris Grandmaster.
* How the Tetris the Grandmaster community feels about leverless controls.
* Going several years between occasions to say hello to your wife.
* Going for a walk around the block so you have an excuse to say hello to your wife when you get back.
* Seeing a person and immediately infodumping at them.
* What they have now instead of bifocals.
* Training your eyes to look through the part of the lens that does the thing.
* Going to the optometrist and saying "just fuck me up"
* Why they don't make bifocals for text at the distance of a computer monitor.
* There's still time, and there's dignity.
* Watching the VOD of your own death because you missed the livestream.
* Getting used to your vision swimming in a new way when you get new glasses.
* Getting an eye exam and saying "I'd rather not say" when they ask you what letters you see.
* Freeballing your corneas.
* A fellow glasses enjoyer.
* A cursed gem that gives you astigmatism.
* Doing the Magic Eye thing in order to learn to read.
* Being born a trust fund kid, except it's your eyeballs.
* The return of the quarter speed music video.
* Even slower slow motion.
* Why can't Eagle-Eye Cherry crawl?
* Wondering why you haven't leaped yet.
* Singing to the camera while being robbed.
* Watching music videos at 1.5x speed as practice for watching them at .25x speed.
* Suddenly the dog takes its mask off and it was Eagle-Eye Cherry the whole time!
* Promising to eat your glasses frames on camera.
* Forgetting how cool your whole premise is and just stopping doing it.
* Literal music videos.
* A houseplant can't save shit. A houseplant doesn't know what time it is.
* People running around New York and looking sad at the camera.
* Buck Cherry. (Named after Chuck Berry.)
