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Lords:
Topics:
- A-life and v-pets of the late 90s: why did they die, where do we see them today (pokemon go, etc)
- San Diego, CA
- Bloodlust Software and the 90s indie game scene
- Not A Butt Face asks: "Marble Hornets Sex Tape ie. A Found Footage Style Webseries but the footage being sifted through is on Sex Tapes and just out of frame or partially obscured is a lurking unknown creature. Could this ever work?"
Microtopics:
- Being a cyborg and being out of the closet.
- Doing standup comedy in an empty room.
- Figuring out the best way to get a podcast onto your phone.
- Kevin Spacey ruining your podcast.
- A 20th-anniversary digital Tamagotchi.
- F2P Tamagotchi all getting horrible pain disorders that demand you pay daily microtransactions or they just scream all day.
- A large company that operates suspiciously.
- Reading a lot of Newsweek in grade school.
- Getting high on your own supply of Newsweek.
- An eight year old wearing a blazer with elbow pads picking up a Newsweek at the book fair to read about Tamagotchi.
- Shaking the Chao garden to make the Chao fight.
- Whether or not Nintendogs go to heaven.
- Neglecting your real dog because you have an exciting new virtual dog.
- Sickening podcast guests with your Pokemon Go strategies.
- The sensor on Wappy Dog's tail that only exists so it can get upset that you pulled its tail.
- That one banger on the Wappy Dog OST.
- Your Robotic Operating Buddy's ability to pick up discs of a certain size and move them in an arc around itself.
- Playing Stack Up over Skype and having to call your friend and have him reset the puzzle whenever ROB fucks up and drops the pieces on the floor.
- The baffling absence of YouTube videos of Gizmo Furby interacting with Yoda Furby.
- Steven Spielberg patrolling the internet for videos of Gizmo Furby talking to Yoda Furby and shutting them the heck down because that's not canon. (George Lucas is fine with it.)
- A village of Furbies living on after the extinction of the human race.
- Yes! Dad does!
- Wappy Dog being immortal, but if he did die somehow he'd go straight to hell.
- Pikachu turning to the player and asking "who was the last person you kissed?"
- Trying to make a game that creates the same reaction in every player.
- Confusing Yoot Saito and Noob Saibot.
- Playing SimCity 2000 on a Game Boy Advance.
- Becoming a chef so that you can figure out why burritos are better in San Diego than anywhere else in the world.
- A library raised up in little feet with a swirly tail called The Spang-Dangler Building.
- A library that looks like a big concrete tree.
- A library that looks like a space invader.
- Discovering Finnish Salty Licorice and finally not having to share your candy with your friends.
- Lurking in the floorboards so that you can visit your introvert friend without them noticing.
- Those big concrete nipples on Camp Pendleton.
- Driving from Camp Pendleton to Mexico in less than a minute and then turning around and driving across an aircraft carrier.
- Doctor Seuss's favorite San Diego hangouts.
- Whether Jack Lemmon likes it hot in the ending of Some Like It Hot.
- Taking part in the panda breeding program in the 70s.
- Not knowing what the San Diego Convention Center looks like outside of Comic Con and just assuming it's always swarming with nerds.
- None of the speakers showing up for the big Robotech panel at Wondercon so the marketing director steps up with PowerPoint presentation describing Robotech merch.
- Everyone losing their shit over Robotech skate decks.
- Singing and dancing when the sky turns black.
- Trying to hide violence from children so the children rebel by celebrating violence as much as possible.
- A full-featured Mortal Kombat clone developed by two high school students.
- Whether One Must Fall stands up.
- Choosing to release the first free-and-good-enough NES emulator and calling it NESticle.
- How the mouse pointer for NESticle was actually a severed hand, and only the Windows icon was a scrotum.
- Keeping your emulation legit by deleting your ROMs every 24 hours.
- The only place the long-rumored SNESticle was ever released.
- How early SNES emulators didn't handle transparency so you had to manually toggle the cloud layer in order to see anything.
- Shock value Flash cartoons before and after 9/11.
- A gif of a plane crashing into Oprah.
- Going into work each day with the intent of trying to get fired.
- Who today is carrying on the Bloodlust Software ethos.
- Making the same ultra-violent video game as everyone else but adding narration explaining that "violence is bad and this game is important."
- A hyper-detailed art style evocative of biology and gross innards without actually depicting any gore.
- A tasteful logo that represents a butt pooping.
- A barely-visible monster lurking in the background of every video uploaded to Pornhub.
- Porkin' Across America.
- Finding people who were already going to make a series of sex tapes and offering to lurk in the background in your Slenderman costume.
- Training a neural network to insert Slenderman into the background of every movie.
- Writing erotic House of Leaves fan fiction and waiting for the Internet to discover and reenact it.
- An art critic giving your life a B+.
