Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early! (https://www.patreon.com/topiclords)
Lords:
* Hallie
* https://twitter.com/Hallie9000
* Jenni
* jenni@jennipolodna.com
* Riff and Jenni play Policenauts. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dnaryt7Vd-U&list=PLQqCGkS4_4ZgJEvjj31kQpY75-Pnmbul
Topics:
* Tarot readings using meme templates
* In the musical Cats, jellicle cats ascend to the Heaviside Layer & come back reborn, therefore cats are radio waves, discuss
* https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1382102/Now-Lloyd-Webber-puts-Eliots-dogs-to-music.html
* Original twitter thread about platonic cats: https://twitter.com/chriscereza/status/1316118239785574400
* Why the Music In Cats Is Worse Than You Thought https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i3aK-EK5V2k
* Disney attending your funeral
* http://magicalpassings.com/
* John asks "Country Time Lemonade lent their brand name to the best lemon candy I ever had which I discovered right about the time it was discontinued"
* Why are you not supposed to let a moose lick your car, is it because their tongues will get stuck, how do you stop them
* Jokes as motivation to learn
* Unkomario and kintamario
* https://i.imgur.com/83LapJQ.png
* https://i.imgur.com/Vj3nsyW.png
* 18-Volt squatting on a coin: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJKFZVEKHYY
Microtopics:
* Whether this is going to be a fun episode or if it's going to crash and burn after two minutes.
* Trying to eat a watermelon in December and nature punishing you for your hubris.
* A tarot deck of memes.
* Describing memes in an audio medium.
* Arby's.
* Getting ASMR live on the podcast.
* The Deck of Old Memes.
* Where the horsey sauce comes out.
* Your Arby's cups with a radioactive ghost.
* The Loss Spread.
* Literary analysis of a work of art, except it's a roguelike.
* Jellicle cats.
* Making noises even if you have nothing to say.
* Loving Cats unironically except for the fatphobic one.
* Advertisements for the stage musical Cats making it seem like Les Miserables, a show you go to to cry for three hours.
* Skimbleshanks the Railway Cat.
* Fantasizing that the hipster guy at the moustache wax store is your boyfriend.
* Platonic forms that have been banished to earth and must prove themselves sufficiently perfect to return to the realm of ideas.
* Whether pollicle is a back formation from jellicle.
* Never having met a pollicle dog, nor watched a fever dream of a movie where they sing to you.
* The good content that you can't keep it together through.
* Reinforcing Goofy's head so that it doesn't fall into the casket when he kisses the body.
* Burying you with a solar powered mp3 player so that you can hear "It's A Small World" on loop for eternity.
* Hiring someone to be you from the past so they can have it out with Goofy dressed as the Ghost of Christmas Future at your funeral.
* Planning the Best Funeral Ever.
* Whether Disney is willing to DMCA takedown your novelty Disney funeral.
* Our Cyberpunk Future being cool as heck and also unimaginably awful, like Lovecraft.
* Our Cool Cyberpunk Future, where there are cool things and terrible things, and the rich people have the cool things, and you can try to steal them from them.
* To what degree we got our Dystopian Cyberpunk Future because Jeff Bezos loved Neuromancer and wanted to make it happen for real.
* Hiring Hiro Protagonist from Snow Crash to come to your funeral and kiss you on the lips, and getting a Meme Virus that persists through your death.
* Hiring Tron Guy to come to your funeral and kiss you on the list.
* Refusing to let Tron Guy see Tron Legacy at your movie theater because Ernest Cline would just buy the theater immediately.
* Pickle brine that tastes a lot like peppery lemonade.
* The hierarchy of sour candies.
* Sour candy marketing in the 90s proclaiming that "your mom hates these!"
* The difference between macaroons and macarons, and whether it exists.
* The difference between pies and tarts, and whether it exists.
* Graham cracker crust quiche.
* The same podcast episode but you keep editing new guest commentary in so that gets longer and longer.
* Not letting a moose lick your car, because their tongue might get stuck.
* Driving away after the moose's tongue gets stuck to your bumper and the moose flies behind you like a kite.
* Driving in bemoosed roads.
* Driving away when a moose tries to lick your car.
* Moose seeing a car and thinking "oh good a source of salt."
* The hippos of the West.
* Telling your child that every animal is imaginary so they can have the magical moment of discovering the truth over and over again.
* Frightening a bear away by putting moose antlers on it and showing it a mirror.
* Inventing and testing sour honey live on this podcast.
* The patron saint of standing on your head.
* A sour honey update: it's fine.
* The new sour salty honey candy, "Are They Gonna Give Me That Sour Salty Honey?"
* People and learning and why they do it.
* The thing about jokes.
* Putting a bunch of bad programming means on the classroom wall because students will want to understand the joke.
* Learning a little about many things and becoming a generalist.
* The only STEM person in this anatomy and physiology class making jokes about how the kidneys are a linked list.
* A meme in the sense of making your calculator say "BOOBIES"
* An extremely elaborate process for making it kinda look like Mario is pooping.
* Duolingo finally paying off when you can discern which Mario is pooping and which Mario has testicles.
* An official Nintendo product acknowledging the schoolyard meme where it looks like Mario is pooping.
* Inventing new things to do with video games.
* The Green Demon.
* The essence of swag.
* Memes with good cinematography.
* Inventing rules to apply to yourself to make video games harder.
* Beating Pokemon with all Woopers.
* A problematic Kojima game?!
* Opting out of having an adult name.
