Support Topic Lords on Patreon and get episodes a week early! (https://www.patreon.com/topiclords)
Lords:
* Max
* https://twitter.com/MaxKriegerVG
* https://twitter.com/nonstandardmcd
* Ryan
* https://twitter.com/RyanIkeComposer
Topics:
* What do you think is behind the human fascination with miniature things?
* What are things people assume about you, based on your profession, look, or general vibe, that are always untrue?
* How to fix speed runs
* https://twitter.com/RavenWorks/status/1214615137056899072
* Yuri asks "Games you love, but really wish you did not. Maybe even games you really don't like much, but keep playing anyway, like a terrible reality tv show you can't look away from."
* Does anyone actually like Frame Interpolation? Am I the only one who always turns it off?
* There seems to be a zoological consensus that hippos share a unique, communal, organized hatred of humankind for reasons that cannot be explained through typical animal behavioral reasoning.
* A restaurant where all the glasses are the same size but if you order a large it gets poured out of a 55 gallon drum and if you order a small it gets filled with an eye dropper.
* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E3YGtQ40Qvs
Microtopics:
* Running a novelty Twitter account about Nonstandard McDonalds.
* Grabbing every flashlight on your house to light your live TV news appearance.
* Running a novelty Twitter account about the mundane business details of running a Long John Silver's.
* White Castle except even stinkier somehow.
* Making tiny novelty hamburgers out of gelatin and cornstarch.
* Miniature things which are their normal size but are smaller than you.
* Sneaking a secret, more interesting topic in after your overt one.
* Elixirs in a JRPG having expiration dates so you don't end the game with 80 of them, never having used a single one.
* Holding a Lego minifig in your hands and thinking "I could pop your head off any time I feel like it."
* Converting inches of height to thousands of dollars per year in salary, and how that works differently for men and women.
* Taking a knife edge turn into the patriarchy.
* Knowing you could mash the person you're talking to like a paper bird, but reassuring them that of course you would never do that.
* Mixing powders into paste and then pressing the paste into a mold.
* Going down the rabbit hole on slurry-based miniature food construction.
* The sad sashimi special you get at a shitty bar after work.
* New shapes of ennui that you've never known as a human being.
* Biting the brick of instant ramen and then washing it down with a bite of the brick of Golden Curry.
* Wanting to produce high quality audio but not really caring much about the quality of audio you listen to.
* Mostly playing video games on consoles that are at least ten years old.
* Tech workers wanting the least internet-connected kitchen appliances available.
* Growing up with hair that makes you look like you do a lot of drugs.
* Getting tossed into camp dirtbag.
* Trading McDonald's jokes with your novelty McDonald's account followers.
* Thinking about long hamburgers every day.
* A tablet you would etch your name into in ancient Egypt, on a hoagie bun.
* Getting a hoagie delivered from a pizza place like some kind of maniac.
* Resetting a game until you get a favorable result.
* Oops All Marathon Strats.
* Why Speedrun?
* Speedrunning as a way to share a game you love with the audience.
* The Timic Skip.
* The changes Jim made to Frog Fractions: Game of the Decade Edition to make speedrunning it more fun.
* Designing your game to be interesting to reverse engineer.
* Tetris: The Grand Master.
* Cranking the skill ceiling on every aspect of Tetris to the absolute maximum.
* Stretching the rules of Tetris so much that the Tetris Company says "this has gone too far" and revokes your Tetris license.
* Designing a game with the assumption of fervent frame by frame analysis by the player base.
* Returning again and again to a game that doesn't respect your time.
* BeamNG.drive
* Gran Turismo Meets Garry's Mod.
* The most satisfying car crash simulator.
* Sitting in a sandbox and smashing Micro Machines together.
* A soft-body physics engine that is supposed to be for gearhead nerds but that you use to crash cars into each other and giggle.
* The cynicism setting in long before the dopamine cycle wears off.
* Deliberately avoiding gacha games because you might start paying for spins.
* Discreetly turning motion smoothing off on your parents' TV.
* Screening your roommates for whether or not they like motion smoothing.
* Looking at a 4k TV and not really noticing a difference.
* The hypothetical audience for motion smoothing.
* Whether Best Buy is your Best Bud.
* Stretching a 4:3 image to cover your 16:9 TV.
* The consumer paying for the chocolate company advertising on the chocolate bar.
* Negotiating with the car dealership by threatening to remove the license plate frame with the dealership's name on it from your car.
* The raw power of a hippopotamus.
* The hippo as a reification of mother earth's desire to cleanse the earth of humanity.
* Hippo Accelerationism.
* Importing hippos into every continent so they can kill even more people even faster.
* The fried banana stand at the San Diego Zoo.
* Why toucans don't swarm and devour humans.
* An abominably fat crow forging relationships left and right.
* Liking someone so much that you leave a big chunk of drywall on their doorstep.
* A forklift robot that can pour a beverage directly out of a 55 gallon drum.
* A chemical you can pour on any part of the pizza to form a crust there.
* A pizza fractal and it never stops, baby.
* Walking into a Sizzler and asking for the fruit lasagna.
* The buffet boom of the 80s.
* Sizzler representing choice in a country about freedom of choice.
* A four minute indoctrination video shown to new Sizzler employees.
* The thickest glasses known to man.
